Noon Family News

Happy Valentine's Day

2012-02-14T15:25:00.000-05:00

Last week, Dave's uncle passed away suddenly. I wanted us all to go, but it wasn't going to happen at eight months pregnant, so I stayed with the boys while Dave traveled to New Jersey for the wake and funeral. Will has been talking a lot about Uncle Bill and Heaven, drawing pictures for him at preschool. Finn will randomly say something like "I miss Uncle Bill"--obviously parroting one of us, but still pretty sweet.

On the same day (within minutes) that we got that bad news, we also got the wonderful news that my friend Mindy was in labor. A few hours later she gave birth to a beautiful baby girl.

I guess that's fitting, right? I'd like to think Uncle Bill gave baby Grace a high five as they passed each other in opposite directions.

Losing a member of the family and gaining a member of our (and our kids') inner circle has made this Valentine's Day a little more special, and easier for us to count all of our blessings with infinite gratitude. Case(s) in point:

Will wore this shirt today to school and informed me that his nickname was "Heartbreaker--because that's another language for 'I love you.'"

Keeping Me...Well, Not Sane Exactly

2012-02-09T11:00:00.000-05:00

I started this post at the end of October 2011. Weeks nine through twentyish of this pregnancy had been trying, but the holidays were coming, so! The things that were keeping me sane were things like Good Housekeeping's sugar cookies (they call them Valentine's cookies, so maybe the idea's still season-appropriate, even months later; we'll go with that). Will and I made them together, and I vaguely remember that we did have some fun.

Ceci also taught me how to make washable, toddler-sized pillows for the boys, and that made me feel capable and like I could indulge my nesting habits without giving fistfuls of money to my arch-nemesis, Pottery Barn Kids.

And I made some really easy pumpkin muffins.

That's the end of my notes from October 2011.

********************************************

Now that it's February, the list has definitely changed. Here's what's keeping my head juuuuuuuust above water lately:

In the Human category:

My mom, who babysat and mother's-helped while both Will and I were down 'n' out with a stomach bug last month, and who ignores her back pain to WRESTLE with my toddlers whenever we visit (My dad is also wonderful with the kids, but he misses out on top billing since he's not around as much.)
My midwives, who make home visits and ALWAYS leave me calmer than when they arrived
My husband, who can take both boys out into a snowy (or, more frequently this winter, sunny) backyard for hours without complaint and give me time to actually get something done on the weekend
My girlfriends, but you know what? Some of them just got a whole post to themselves, so we'll leave it at that.

In the Things are Organized? Kind of? category:

A new diaper bag. I know, long-time friends will groan at this bullet point, and here's why: I am currently in possession of four diaper bags that were created to function as such, and instead I've been using a tote-formerly-used-for-work for the actual, you know, diapers. But I DO use the diaper bags! This one is a messenger bag from Lands End, and it was cheap, and I can wear it across my ginormous body, and it's one of those Mary Poppins-ish bags that magically holds three times its actual capacity. It may not be sufficient with a newborn in tow, but it's ideal for two toddlers when one's fully potty trained.
My kids are sharing a room. They've been sharing a room (at night) for twelve days now, and they were both smitten with the arrangement after the first night. It's clear that they both get comfort from having the other nearby. There have been some growing pains--Finn has woken up early (7) a few mornings, which in turn wakes Will up before he's ready. But the fact that we have a whole room, outfitted with a crib and a changing table and a built-in closet, to spare* is great for our mental health. We don't even plan on putting the baby in there right away, but it's nice to open up the options a bit.

In the Distractions category:

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia: I was completely bored by this show the first (eight) time(s) I caught a clip as I was switching channels. One evening recently, I watched an entire episode and nearly cried laughing. Then I watched a few more and DID in fact cry laughing. For me, it was an acquired taste that's quickly become the only thing I want to watch most nights. I DVR all the late-night repeats and then if I can muster the strength to stave off bedtime past nine (seriously), I'll lumber downstairs to watch them. Dave followed me down the rabbit hole, so at least we laugh until we cry together! (I should note that this show is incredibly inappropriate, so I'm not actually recommending it, nor will I be offended if you don't get/like/tolerate it. Unless you're Jenny Sheehan, in which case I'll assume you've been supplanted by a pod person.)
My iPhone: I remember my lovely friend Inger reminiscing about her middle-of-the-night sessions with her first daughter, and what she would do on her iPhone, and I'd be all, "Whatever! We just popped in a DVD of The Wire when Will was eating at one a.m. What's wrong with a good old-fashioned DVD, Inger?!?" Now I have an iPhone with HBOGO and have in fact watched an entire miniseries (John Adams) on that tiny screen (also developed moderate crush on Thomas Jefferson while watching, strange I know), and I may actually be sad if this baby's eating is too efficient to justify TV in the middle of the night. No, I won't be sad, but I do love my iPhone.

A Very Belated, Very Jersey Christmas (2011)

2012-02-07T13:59:00.001-05:00

On Christmas Day, we headed to New Jersey so we could celebrate with the other half of our family. Aunt Jen and Uncle Kai didn't even stay in the same house with us this year, but they still dominate our photos!

(That's okay--they're pretty photogenic and the boys had a great time with them--and their grandparents and all the aunts, uncles and cousins of course.)

On our way home, we met up with my good friend from college, Amy, and her husband (also a Dave) plus their completely adorable then-nine-month-old, Ben.

That's the two of us with our three boys

(and whoever is waiting ~~in the wings~~ in my belly).

And...that was our last trip to New Jersey (or anywhere, really) before we have a third little one to tote around. We're really hoping he/she is a car sleeper like Will and not a car screamer (for the first seven months!!) like Finn; that way we can attempt longer trips before NEXT Christmas. Fingers crossed!

Today: An Attempt at Silver Linings

2012-01-23T22:22:00.002-05:00

Monday morning is theoretically my one "morning off" a week. Will goes to his preschool, Finn goes to his toddler group, and I have roughly 2.5 hours in which to...check the clock and make sure I'm not going to be late for pickup, to be honest. But I also manage to get a few chores around the house done, which makes Monday's nap time a little bit less task-oriented. I've only had a couple of these free periods in the last two months due to various holidays, but today I had one and I...went to the dentist.

I don't mind going to the dentist, but you should know that my teeth are not the greatest. Both my parents have mouths replete with fillings, and I have some of those genes. I also eat more sugary stuff than I should, but Dave can attest that I really do brush my teeth and floss religiously, and I dutifully schedule my six-month cleanings (even when it sucks up my tiny piece of free time).

However, since I became pregnant with Will, my teeth have been in some sort of super-revolt. Pregnant women are known to have more sensitive gums and softer teeth, and I'm certainly not the exception to that rule. With each pregnancy I've gained a couple new pieces of silver. All this to say, at today's appointment, I had three cavities. THREE.

Silver (no pun intended) lining: My dentist is a two-minute drive from my home; I really like the staff there; if I'm going to have a medical problem, at least it's this one.

When Will started going to preschool in the fall, he happily trotted off to hang out with his friends and teachers, nine days out of ten. When I remarked on it, the director warned me that often the kids who have no transition issues in September pull them out in January instead. I inwardly scoffed. I should have listened to the woman with twenty-five years of experience.

Since Christmas break ended, Will's been crying and saying "I'm nervous" maybe two mornings a week. His teachers send me pictures a few minutes later of him happily playing, and the most irritating part is when I come to pick him up after lunch he crows about how wonderful preschool is. Today when I picked him up, three hours after leaving him tearful at my departure, he literally said to me, "I want to stay at preschool forever. I was just nervous for a second, and then I wasn't anymore!" So I replied, "OK, can you remember that tomorrow morning please?" He agreed, but I'll believe it when I see it.

Silver lining: Per the director's warning, it's normal; at least he's doing it later in the year when I know how much he actually enjoys it, so I'm not second-guessing the preschool itself.

At the end of this long day, I was leaving the Y with Susan, rounding up our various children and winter gear, and I couldn't find Finn's boots. I asked him if he'd been playing with them, we all scoured the family gym, and they were nowhere to be found. Somebody took home (I'm assuming and hoping accidentally) my son's bright blue moon boots. His only pair of winter boots. I'm trying to think positively, that of course the parent who mistakenly put those boots on her kid or didn't notice when the kid put them on will realize and bring them back ASAP. Because if I have to buy a second pair of winter boots so my kid can wear them for maybe another month and then grow out of them forever--I don't know what I'll do.

Silver lining: Oh, gosh, this is going to be a stretch. Okay, how about: It's been a mild winter, so maybe we can get away without replacement boots? I don't know.

Finally, I'm thirty-two weeks along, and I'm finally resigned to the fact that no part of this pregnancy is going to be enjoyable. Even the baby's movements, which of course I love to see and feel, are actually painful. There are knees and elbows stabbing at my belly button and larger body parts jumping on my bladder. My stomach is so compressed that eating is rarely fun and often uncomfortable in the evening hours. I no longer hit a wall of fatigue at four p.m.; now I wake up exhausted and just plod through the day as best I can.

Silver lining: Labor and the newborn phase are no longer sources of anxiety, but pots of gold at the end of the rainbow. At least in my mind. And don't you dare try to take that away from me!

Celebrating Finny's Second Birthday

2012-01-22T15:43:00.000-05:00

People sometimes lament winter birthdays, or try to commiserate with me that Finn was born "so close to Christmas." I do understand the December birthday problem (hi, Susan!), but I love that Finn is a mid-January baby, and here's why:

Celebrating his birthday alleviates the post-Christmas blahs
His date doesn't land amongst a bevy of other birthdays (as Will's does), so we're not squeezing it into a party-packed schedule
The party gives us and our guests something to do and something to look forward to when the weather is inhospitable
Smack-dab-in-the-middle-of-winter timing takes away the decision about an outdoor vs. indoor party; whatever we do (last year it was at My Gym, this year we had a musician at our home) has to be inside, and that makes the planning a bit easier

That brings me to today, when we had our kid extravaganza with musician Stacey Peasley providing the entertainment. Finn and Will were a bit overwhelmed at the start, but once the pizza arrived they'd gotten their bearings, and by cake time, predictably, they were ready to party.

Thanks to our friends for celebrating with us and helping the whole morning run smoothly. We had so much fun, and Finny's a lucky man for having all these wonderful people in his life.

Third Baby, Third Trimester

2012-01-18T14:49:00.002-05:00

Notes from the Seven-Month Mark:

1) My hair gets so greasy, so fast. Well: at the root it gets greasy and the ends remain dry for days on end. This has always been the way with my pregnant scalp, and it's not making any exceptions for baby number three. The tricks I use (sporadically) to ameliorate the situation are:

shower in the evening, brush my hair, air-dry it a little, sleep on it; then in the morning, straighten it with my flat iron (and some Fekkai Glossing Creme); lasts through the following evening
shower without washing hair; rub baby powder into roots prior to showering so the humid bathroom doesn't grease up my scalp even more

(Oh yes, I have many exciting things to talk about here in the third trimester. Many.)

2) The body pillow (Snoogle, for those in the know) has been invaluable for months now. I even use it in tandem with a king-sized pillow these days, which is basically like using two body pillows.

3) I'd heard of sciatic nerve pain in pregnancy before, but never experienced it until this time around. It's neither constant nor unbearable, but when it twinges I definitely notice and strongly dislike it.

4) It's been hard to eat in the evening for a long time now. Not that I don't crave dinner and dessert, I do--I just have no room left in this incredibly high (and low, and protruding) belly of mine.

5) Along the same lines, I get pain in the muscle right under my ribcage maybe every other day. It's clearly muscle soreness, but I don't know if it's caused by all the organs pressing up against my diaphragm or by the straining that goes on when I go about my normal mom-of-two duties and/or exercise for any length of time. I hope it's the former, because I need those ab muscles intact once this baby's out!

6) All of a sudden, my mental state has gone from "Wow, I can't believe I'm already 30 weeks pregnant--time is flying!" to "HOW CAN I HAVE TWO MORE MONTHS OF THIS TOTAL BODY EXHAUSTION?!"

7) It's time to post a boy-or-girl poll to the right ---------------------------------------->

I don't know how to help you make your prediction. This baby's heart rate has been measured between the 140s and the 160s, just like both his/her brothers. I carried RIDICULOUSLY differently with Will and with Finn-you can witness my belly at seven months with each pregnancy in chronological order below--but clearly that wasn't an indicator of male vs. female.

7ish months pregnant with William

7 months pregnant with Finn

7 months pregnant with Baby #3

8) Ooh, one more thing. As athletic as Will and Finn were in utero, their little brother or sister wins that contest hands-down. Whether boy or girl, this baby will definitely be able to hold his/her own. I suppose I'm just not destined for a sit-and-play kid, although it would be a nice change of (literal) pace.

Happy voting!

Finny Turns Two

2012-01-17T14:20:00.000-05:00

I wrote a few months ago about Finny's language explosion, and he has simultaneously (as often happens, it seems) had a personality explosion. In terms of giant I-am-a-human leaps, this has definitely been my favorite with both boys. The almost-two and the true-two phase were so much fun with Will, and it's the same with Finn. Time moves too quickly in a lot of ways; I love the part-baby, part-preschooler combo. He is snuggly, cheerful, affectionate, easily amused, and picking up (and spitting back out) new concepts every day.

Finny is his own person, make no mistake. (Not that you ever could, if you've met the boy.) He is stubborn--not for stubborn's sake, but because he really, truly KNOWS what he wants, and convincing him to accept substitutes is getting tougher by the day. This made nap time, coinciding with emerging molars, a particularly difficult part of our day for about a month there, and we're only just (and barely) recovering.

Finn also has a big brother, and so all that (mostly) charming behavior is offered up to Will as well. I present a few anecdotes from the last couple of weeks as evidence:

Leaving Will at preschool: "I want see Will." [Then again, with a mournful tone]: "I want see Willllllllll!"

Picking Will up at preschool: "I so happy see you, Will!"

After stubbing his foot while wrestling with his brother: "Kiss it, Will!" [extends foot to Will and points] "Right there!"

(For the record, Will did kiss it, and then asked "Does that feel better, Finny?")

Finn is extremely curious these days. He wants to know "Where you going, Daddy?" and "What you doing?" The other day he asked me about a woman reading her book at the bagel store: "What that doing?" Thankfully nobody gets too offended when a little kid refers to a person as "that."

Before I became a parent, there was no way I could understand that some things are just ingrained in a kid. I'm always extremely hesitant to label my kids or pronounce them "this way" or "that kind," because God knows a toddler's traits, talents and preferences can turn out to mean absolutely nothing.

Despite that caveat, I have to say I'll be REALLY surprised if Finn doesn't end up enjoying sports. It's not something we've even particularly encouraged in him--it's more like, if he sees a ball, he goes...are you going to tar and feather me if I use the word "ballistic"? Okay, then, he goes nuts. He also has extremely good aim, and pulls back his arm before throwing quite naturally. Again, I'm not saying he's the next fifth-round-NFL-draft-pick-gone-Superbowl-champ-QB, but that intersection of ability and interest is so prominent, I'd have to go out of my way to ignore it.

I mean, the kid grabbed my chunky oval sunglasses case on a recent morning and cried "I play football!" before winding up to hurl it in the direction of ~~the nearest wide receiver~~ our living room wall, so, like I said: hard to ignore.*

Finn is also remarkably unself-conscious. He wants what he wants, when he wants it, and he's not (AT ALL) afraid to say "No!" or just run laughing in the opposite direction. Most of the time, Finn seems to look at life as one huge, hilarious game. And then there are his staredown moments--he looks witheringly at you (especially if you're a stranger) and waits until you've proven yourself to him before giving you a glimpse of that mini-dimple or a burst of throaty laughter with his head thrown back. If you're one of Finn's inner circle, though, he's happy to maul you--lovingly--and hug your neck tightly, tackling you with kisses.

Today he got the hang of this birthday thing after waking up from his nap. "Mo' presents?" he'd ask after each was unwrapped.

Here's Finn throwing his basketball to his football figurines, saying "Catch football!"

Will handled the role of Big Brother on a Birthday--and this was the first time Finn was actually getting stuff that Will wanted, no less--with admirable aplomb. He "helped" Finny open presents

and truly helped him finish his dinner.

He picks up on everything--one night Dave asked him what he did at his toddler program and he talked about playing with his friends. Dave said, "Daddy didn't do any playing at work today." And Finn replied: "Yeah. Check email." He also recites "Phone, wallet, keys" and checks his pockets before we head out the door in the morning--just like Daddy! And he is bent on doing things all by himself ("I DO IT!"), including of course those things he's not quite ready for...like loading the dishwasher, complete with knives. Which brings us to...

...A new habit Finn's developed is to go into a full pout when we say no--especially if it's a loud, sharp "NO." The lower lip extends and the hazel eyes go misty, and although we have no problem sticking to our guns, Dave and I talk behind Finn's back about how sweet it is. It's also a good opportunity for us to encourage him to use his words, and as Dave points out, as soon as he gets out an "I'm sad!" the pout tends to dissipate. But sometimes he still needs to cuddle with his head on my shoulder (and I love that).

At Finn's two-year appointment he measured 35 inches and 34 pounds...I think? I remembered the percentiles more accurately (72nd in height, 98th in weight) because they told me those after he got his shot (which went surprisingly well, but I was apprehensive). He's learning to count; he's got maybe 75% of the alphabet song down. If you ask him a "Why?" question he always starts his answer with "'Cuz..." and he pretends that all books are titled "Finn Noon!"

He's a rough-and-tumble goofball, and he's the perfect fourth piece to our family.

I can't believe we ever lived without him.

Happy second birthday, Finny Finn! We love you immeasurably.

Friends with (not those kinds of) Benefits

2012-01-10T15:16:00.001-05:00

Throughout 2011, I became close with a group of girls who last weekend threw two of us a shower--for our friend Mindy's second baby and for my third. These women are the sort who say things when we go out to dinner--or, you know, to the third Twilight movie--that make me laugh for months afterward. When I started spontaneously giggling the other night, Dave asked me why and I said, "Honestly? I was just thinking about something Julie said a few weeks ago."

Here we all are, and if you think my expression makes me look a little strange, I can assure you it's because I was trying my best to keep my facial muscles from convulsing entirely with laughter. Even the group-photo-taking part of the morning was hilarious.

(My bizarre expression in this photo is actually not due to suppressed laughter, but to the fact that I was kneeling down to make my bump level with Mindy's.)

(This last one shows Julie and Rachel performing the "necklace test" to determine the baby's sex. According to the almighty necklace, I'm having a boy and Mindy's having a girl--although my guess is the exact opposite. We'll find out soon!)

I just wanted to say a big THANK YOU to these girls--

for an awesome shower and for their don't-know-how-I-ever-lived-without-it friendship.

Christmas Day 2011

2012-01-03T21:06:00.003-05:00

Boringly, every holiday post on this blog has to include the year in its title because...otherwise, how would Mrs. Pregnantbrain (that's me!) remember to look back in the 2011 archives when it's clearly 2012 already? Yes, I'm that much of a space case these days.* (Hey, remember when people said "space case"?)

Will was the first to wake up on Christmas morning, and he was definitely excited. I'm not sure he quite remembered why he was excited, or what he was supposed to do when he woke up, but still:

Does he not have the cutest bedhead ever?

Then Finny woke up and everyone opened stocking presents,

followed by Santa bag presents:

Will's black Mustang from Santa was declared "my favorite present!"

Finny thought unwrapping gifts was cool, but as you can see...

he vastly preferred chowing down on pieces of the gingerbread house.

Then the boys got to work!

Will had requested a robe, and he got one.

My mini-Hef!

He adored this snowplow from his great-godmother, Aunt Kathy.

And he also loved his dinosaur train from Great-aunt Ronni.

Finny got his very own piggy bank!

And some tub crayons; apparently he aspires to be in their next ad campaign.

In a totally magical, Polar Express-y moment, snow began to fall!

It was only the tiniest of flurries--small enough not to bother us, but big enough to see it falling from the sky. The boys watched out the window:

Then Nan and Mamp dropped by for a quick visit:

Here was our family of four as we prepared to pack up and hit the road for New Jersey,

which is a story for another (actually, my next) post:

*Best example of space-case-ness yet: I spent an hour an a half over the last couple of days looking for backup shams for our euro (square) pillows. Today I went into the linen closet and clapped eyes on...our backup shams for our euro pillows. That we've had forever, and use somewhat regularly. See? Space case.

Christmas Eve 2011

2012-01-02T20:58:00.002-05:00

We celebrated Christmas with my sister's family on the 24th this (last) year. I brought over a couple of gingerbread houses from our favorite local bakery, and Will and I worked hard to decorate it with some mini-Twizzlers, Skittles and holiday M & Ms.

Rachel and Bella also did a little exterior work on theirs:

As usual, both boys loved trailing Joe around and doing whatever he was doing:

My mom made a delicious dinner, we exchanged presents, and then we hustled our kids home to get ready for Santa!

After the kids were asleep, Dave got to work on construction:

Santa actually brought this table a few years ago,

but we just now were able to find a place for it (and a use for it).

We laid out their Santa bags--

anything from the Jolly Old Elf that won't fit in their stockings

goes directly in here, still unwrapped.

As I've mentioned, there's a definite bald spot on the side of our tree;

thankfully, it's not as noticeable in person.

You can see (if you squint) in the above picture that our stocking holders

are four silver reindeer. We bought them to match this one, which my parents gave me a long time ago:

And then all we had to do was crawl into bed and wait for St. Nick ourselves...

Advent 2011

2011-12-19T22:17:00.003-05:00

This year, with a three- and almost-two-year-old to entertain and a real, grown-up house to decorate, I decided 2011 was the year to start some Christmas traditions.

No matter that I've been Classic Exhausted Pregnant Lady for the last six months. I love looking forward to special occasions, planning bits and pieces to celebrate along the way, and what better opportunity for all of that than the advent season?

So here's what we did this year:

-ordered sixteen Christmas or winter-related books from the Scholastic book drive at Will's preschool (that was back in November)

-got out the advent calendar given to the boys by Dave's parents

-printed out sixteen "Find a Book!" notes, almost one per weekday leading up to Christmas and put them in the corresponding boxes in the calendar

-wrote little notes in each book to match its plot, e.g. in The Longest Christmas List Ever: "December 15, 2011: Are you done writing your list for Santa? We love you, Mom and Dad"

-scheduled more labor-intensive projects like "Get a Christmas tree!" or "Decorate a wreath" (or even "Make hot cocoa") for weekend days

-juuuuuust remembered to hide the appropriate book under a bed or a couch pillow in time for the boys to do "Avin calder!" as Finn calls it every morning

The book idea helped me a lot because a) it's an easy way to get 'er done every day, and b) it adds to our at-home library, which means there's less of a chance that I will have a nervous breakdown because I've just read Berenstain Bears Go to the Dentist for the umptrillionth time.

The Christmas tree pickup was mostly me and Dave eyeballing trees while the boys wreaked havoc on the lot; because of this we ended up with a 90% great-looking tree with a 10% bald chunk that we could only kind of hide. Oh well!

The wreath decorating at Will's preschool was a non-starter as a project, although we did end up with two lovely wreaths (scantily adorned) regardless.

It should go without saying that the hot cocoa was a hit, as was lollipop day. There was also St. Nick's Day, where we had the kids put their shoes outside their bedroom doors and then gifted them with a Cars 2 toy the next morning. (My best friend in high school Maria's mom did this--except with candy and stocking stuffer-ish treats--and I was jealous every year.)

On Christmas Eve we're planning to decorate gingerbread houses with my sister's kids during our gift exchange, and I think that will be A LOT of fun and also EXTREMELY messy.

And now for a little pre-New Year's pledge: It's important to me that I document the months leading up to the new baby's arrival since they will be our last as a family of four. Also, Finny will turn two next month (!!???!??!?) and there is so much that is delicious and amazing about him at this age that I really want to record it. Meanwhile, Will's imagination has exploded and I've been slacking on writing down his recent gems. So in January, I'm planning to write here at least every other day, or four times a week, or fifteen posts in total. I figure if I put it online, I have a better chance of sticking to this pledge.

(I'll also post the whole backlog of photos from this month...)

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Thanksgiving 2011

2011-11-25T15:05:00.001-05:00

We hosted Thanksgiving for the first time ever!

My dad and Dave played with the boys while I helped my mom cook--

although she still did most of the cooking.

Clearly, some people crashed hard in the early afternoon.

Then we ate!

This was our wedding china's inaugural supper,

after four years of being ignored.

After dinner, the boys ran themselves ragged and took Mampy down with them.

(Note the red faces and sweaty hair.)

It was a small celebration--only six (and a half) people--

but with delicious food and great company,

and we didn't have to leave our cozy home!

*I realized this is the first picture I've put up here that shows my belly (24 weeks tomorrow).

As you can see, it shot right out at the four-month marker and hasn't looked back.

I also think I'm carrying a little high this time--most shirts make my upper body look like one big shapeless entity, with my shoulders and rib cage and baby all merging together.

Maybe this means I'm having a girl? Or, you know, quadruplets?

October Whirlwind Recap

2011-10-30T16:01:00.000-04:00

October began with our first of two annual trips to Edaville, this time to see Thomas. We went with the five Flemings plus Mindy and Jack, and the kids had a great time (as evidenced by Finn hysterically crying as we tore him from the Tilt-a-Whirl after his second ride). I did too, until the eightysomething-degree weather combined with MY two rides on the Tilt-a-Whirl caught up with me. (Paul, just before the ride lurched into motion: "A baby would just fly right off this seat. It's been here since at least the early '70s." [Jiggles the handlebar] "Oh, and this thing's useless.")

We went apple-picking, too, with Ceci and Connor as well as the three Orr ladies. Have I mentioned here yet that Will and Abby have announced their betrothal? Abby's dad, Ade, asked when the happy event would take place, and Will confidently replied "When we're five." Of course, Will has also informed us that he and Finn are "going to our wedding now, and I'm wearing a suit!" and mentioned a handful of other arranged marriages, but this one seems pretty serious:

Two things I love about that series of photos: one, that Connor is usually grinning his face off, and two, that the Orrs and the Noons have produced similar pairs of same-sex offspring. Note in the last picture how the blond Bobbsey twins are off to one side smiling while Finn and Natalie look suspicious and, in Finn's case, kind of surly. I love it.

Mid-month, we attended birthday parties for close friends Kenley (3), Jack (2) and Catherine (3). I don't have pictures, although Kenley's party featured an enormous blow-up dinosaur (huuuuuge hit), Jack's was great because I got to watch him go through the gamut of facial expressions (he has my favorite face to watch--the most adult reactions on an adorable peanut face), and Catherine's was of course the birthplace of the soon-to-be-famous ABC Karaoke Crooning Duo, where Connor and Will discovered a love of the stage, the microphone, and the sound of their own voices.

We then celebrated Halloween early with the Spooky Walk. Both Will and Connor dressed up at Lightning McQueen, and Finny borrowed Ryan's costume from last year (thanks, Ry!) that was conveniently a sweatshirt and sweatpants, so we didn't have to pry him from the full suit to change a diaper or relieve him when he complained "Too tight! Tooooo tiiiiiiiight!" Jack also walked with us most of the way, but I didn't get a picture of his perfect fireman's costume because he was too busy dodging his dad as he ran through the crowd to find the candy:

Then we partied at the obstacle course in honor of Connor's third (and the twins' belated first) birthday:

Inger with just-turned-one Lia,

who wanted to get down and run with the big kids.

We finally hit the end of the party trail this weekend, although my Halloween birthday boy husband turns thirty-three tomorrow, so we did go out with Kerry and Christian for THAT occasion while Nan and Mamp babysat. It turned out to be a mildly treacherous drive because of our freak pre-Halloween snowstorm, and the month that started out feeling like July is ending up more like January. It's a very weird finish to a jam-packed and fun-filled October.

Third Time Around: A Bulleted List

2011-10-21T14:23:00.003-04:00

I swear I won't believe this down the road unless I record it now: my once-marveled-at (among my family, at least) memory is shot to pieces. My ability to multitask has vanished. My brain is toast. Today I couldn't find my keys for the third time in as many days. They were in my car, in the ignition, running the battery while some Music Together songs blasted in an empty minivan with its headlights on. I had left them there for AN HOUR.
(Also, yours truly, the keeper of three calendars--monthly on the wall, daily in my planner, Google calendar for iPhone use--has so far managed to forget a prenatal appointment entirely AND double-book dinners on a night out.)
This just in: I'll never be the kind of woman who surprises everyone with "I'm already six months along!" Nope. As I said to Ceci, there just isn't enough midsection for me to hide anything for that long. And once I start showing (to friends, three months--to strangers, based on the due date curiosity that's just begun, it's apparently four). I think I'm over the disappointment.
I feel babies move pretty early. With Will, I was 18 weeks, give or take. With Finny, I was closer to 14, and with this baby, there were suspicious sensations even at 13 weeks--although, given how horrible my stomach still felt then, it was hard to be sure. If I can't have "You don't even look pregnant!" gestations, at least I can feel the flips earlier, right? God doesn't give with both hands, I suppose.
As I've talked about with my mother-in-law a few times, I don't understand the handful of women who LOVE being pregnant. Even during my pregnancy with Will, when I felt relatively comfortable throughout and didn't have any other kids to sap my energy, I still didn't *prefer* pregnancy to non-pregnancy. There were things that I loved (see last bullet point), and I appreciate(d) the experience, but I really didn't get why anyone would want to replace their regular clothes with a different, less attractive wardrobe, or why they would want to swear off alcohol, or in later months, the chance to sleep belly-side-down.
I especially don't get it now that I've experienced this pregnancy brainlessness. Again, it's more than worth it for the baby that comes at the end, even WITH the bummer nausea that accompanied this one from weeks 8-14--I'm not saying it's all bad. It's just that for me, some pretty significant pieces of my identity get put on hold for the duration, and that's NOT a part of pregnancy that I can savor or spin positively.
(Maybe I just don't have that specific gene. I think my friend Laurie has that gene, and I'm admiringly baffled by her. She also really didn't show until she was six months pregnant, which sort of blows my God/two hands theory out of the water.)
By the way, this baby is moving like a speed demon in my lower abdomen right now. One thing I do like about maternity jeans is that when you're sitting down and the stretchy waistband is pulled against your stomach, babies (or mine anyway) are much easier to feel.
I run the dishwasher twice a day and cycle through the laundry about as often. Yet we perpetually have a sink full of dishes and hampers piled high. Why? How?
Will came into the room for my ultrasound this morning. I thought he'd be all "Hi, New March Baby!" (what he calls it) but instead he looked at us like we were crazy when we tried to show him the feet and face, and then he wanted to know when we could leave. Oh well. At least he proudly carried the profile photos out into the waiting room.
When you're not finding out the baby's sex (which we aren't this time--for the first time!), the middle of pregnancy really is sort of long. Thankfully I have my two whirling dervishes to keep me distracted.
It also helps to make time fly when you aren't getting anything ready for the new baby pretty much until he/she arrives. Being a preparation nut, I'm usually at least writing wish lists for the third trimester by now, but I just don't have the spare time or the inclination. Also, after two babies, I understand that my need to feel prepared doesn't actually result in being prepared. So, why bother? We'll figure out the sleeping arrangements and the ~~name~~ rest of it at 39 weeks, right? Plenty of time!

Finny at 21 Months, Addendum

2011-10-19T12:00:00.000-04:00

I never posted Finn's eighteen-month stats from the doctor (poor, poor forgotten second child), so I'm tacking them on here, three months later. Whoops! You were:

30 lbs (95th %ile)
33 in (86th %ile)

I also didn't include these pictures in the twenty-one-month post. This is Finn feeding Riley, his future wife (if all relevant parties have anything to say about it), and at the bottom, trying to fill Daddy's shoes.

Happy Birthday, "Con-Con"!

2011-10-18T12:00:00.000-04:00

I don't know how many people are lucky enough to say they have or had a best friend--a real best friend--at three years old. But Will is that lucky, and his best friend Connor is three TODAY. Connor is the kind of kid who is always thinking up something fun to do, and in that vein their dads reported that the two of them took the stage last weekend at a friend's party for some karaoke ABC's. That is the sort of thing Will wouldn't do on his own, I don't think; Connor brings out Will's adventurous side, and I love him for that (among many other reasons). Although they occasionally struggle to share toys and they're working on turn-taking, they are always, always excited to see each other. Like I said, lucky.

In honor of Connor's birthday and their totally wonderful friendship, I put together this birthday movie. To paraphrase Mater, you boys definitely made the right choice of "bes' friends."

Twenty-One Months of the Finn Man

2011-10-17T14:55:00.000-04:00

The first thing you need to know about Finny recently is that with a months-long verbal explosion has come a personality shift. He's still the same boy who loves to jump before looking, gives us the sly eye before teasingly contradicting us--his favorite game is to announce that something is "hot" until we declare it cold or warm, and then debate us in between fits of giggles. He also likes to point at his transportation decals and say with an upward inflection "Truuuuuuuuuck?" as he points to a bus, grinning.

But probably like most kids, Finn is empowered by this boost in communication, and there's something more confident in his manner now that he understands and is being understood. His crankiest period of the day is the typical one, post-nap and pre-bedtime, and particularly right after he wakes up. Yesterday, after a three-hour nap, he grumpily drove with the rest of us to Costco. He kept darting away from us and then freaking himself out once he knocked into a stranger's legs. Finally I pulled him aside while he was crying for "Daddy!" (who was quickly thrown over for "Mamaaaa!" as soon as we switched--you know how it is) and said "I'm going to give you a time-out if you keep crying. There is no reason to cry. Do you want a time-out?" "No," he sniffed. "Then stop crying." That was that. It might not have been if we hadn't been leaving anyway, but we were, and I was able to make jokes and cajole him until we were back in the car. THAT never used to happen, and I attribute it to bridging the verbal gap only because I remember it happening (several months earlier) with Will; as soon as he registered that we "got it," he was so much easier to appease, to reassure, to explain things to.

Finn is also more fun, because I don't feel compelled to baby him all the time. If he can comprehend my instructions (for the most part), I can trust him in our backyard or at his toddler program. We can concentrate on teasing each other, and I can encourage him with some success to play fair with Will and his other friends, to give and take and share. It also means that most of the time, I can allow him to join the big kids like he so desperately wants. Here he is apple-picking with the mighty three-year-olds (and Lala, not pictured):

It's really fun to hear him cobble together sentences. The other day he asked Ceci "Where Brendan and Riley?" Today he said "Time-out for Will?" And he's constantly saying simple phrases like "I did it!" and "I reach," or "I fell." All parents have different points on the timeline that signify where their kid moves up a level in person-hood. For me, this developmental jump is a big one. "I swimming!" isn't just bathtime conversation to me--it's how Finn can tell me he's proud of himself, a way of soliciting my praise and attention, and it makes me happy. He makes me happy.

Because he copies everything Will does, Finn pees in the potty every night before bed--the little potty. And once he's half-naked, he starts grunting "COOKIE? COOKIE!" Afterward, he gets an alphabet cookie and walks around with it hanging from his mouth. He also shouts "LUSH!" meaning "flush" while he's sitting there, and I have to remind him that the little potty doesn't flush. So...he takes it into the bathroom and flushes it there. This one doesn't miss a trick.

Finny kisses my belly and says "Hi, baby!" and I can now really see him as a big brother. He'll be talking to the baby, kissing him or her, probably trying to pounce while I attempt to deflect him. But it makes sense now. He's not just my baby anymore (although he'll always be that, too); he's a person with ideas and plans and perspectives and opinions, and I get to know him a little better every day. It's awesome.

Is There Room for One More?

2011-10-13T13:00:00.000-04:00

By next March, we'll need another horse on the carousel.

And another ticket to the firehouse tour.

And some matching tee-shirts for the TWO big brothers.

March 17th, St. Patrick's Day, 2012, to be exact;

we're having another baby!

Preschool for Everyone!

2011-10-10T14:55:00.000-04:00

On the first day that felt like fall, Will and Finn got into their warm gear

and got ready for school.

Of course, because Finn is my second kid, I forgot to prepare him

for dropping Will off at preschool.

When we got back into the car, Finn gestured toward Will's empty carseat

and said, "Where Will? Where Will?"

Oops.

The first two days of Finny's drop-off playgroup confused him.

His (wonderful) teacher--he plays with four other toddlers in her home two mornings a week--

said he was crying off and on.

But by day three, he had begun his current routine:

cries in protest for 15-30 seconds when I leave, then he's "perfect" throughout the morning.

He's happily eating lunch when I come to pick him up, and he's never in a hurry to get home.

Will and Finn with Connor (far left) and Jack (far right)

Will has been loving his new preschool from day one. Just loving it.

It's a much more relaxed environment than his previous one,

and he barely acknowledges me when I leave, although he greets me excitedly when I return.

with Connor

I'm learning that Will's a typical boy in many ways.

Although he's extremely chatty, he talks way more about his toys and projects

than his friends at school--whereas the moms of his female classmates have told me

they've heard a lot about Will from their kids.

"I'm the best convertible driver IN THE WORLD!" he proclaimed.

These pictures are obviously not of Will at preschool, but they reflect how socially at-ease he's become.

I think Finny has a lot to do with his development--he really notices other kids now, and you can tell he thinks about how he's treating them. Sometimes his experience as a big brother makes him feistier and more physical than his friends (and I) would like, so it's not all sweetness and light.

But...it's still a whole lot of that, too.

The Last of the Birthday Posts (I Promise)

2011-10-05T15:46:00.001-04:00

Interspersed with his multiple parties and his actual birthday, Will had a few more noteworthy events this week. The one without photographic evidence was his three-year checkup at the doctor. The general gist was: still 95th %ile in height and weight (40 inches, 40 pounds), passed his eye exam, totally healthy. The more specific story is that he chose the shot in the arm over the FluMist, got another shot in the other arm plus the finger prick (followed by the bloody finger squeeze, UGHHHH), and went through the whole thing with nary a complaint. In fact, he was positively chipper. I heard them talking about him outside the doctor's office, the nurse and Will's pediatrician using words like "amazing," and "mature." (I feel I can brag about this because Finny then got one lone shot and yanked his arm away even while my dad was holding him down, then cried about the injustice for half a minute before getting distracted by my suggestion of eating a banana. So...I don't think I got two of these, is what I'm saying.) (Not that I don't and won't have things to brag about re: Finny. Just, different things. You know.)

Another highlight was Auntie Lo's visit, complete with a very appropriate Dr. Seuss gift ("Happy Birthday To You," which is way longer than we all remembered) and cupcakes.

And finally, Grandmom and Grandpop showed up at the tail end of the Barn Babies affair to surprise Will a day early--they came back again on Sunday to visit with the boys.

That concludes the recounting of Will's week-long third birthday celebration--I swear. I have a lot to say about preschool and Finny and all sorts of stuff, so that's coming up.

There's more to us than just our birthdays, Mom. Get a grip.

Will's Third Birthday Party, Friends Edition

2011-10-03T16:04:00.002-04:00

We had animals on our cupcakes...

...and in our backyard!

Thanks to all our friends for celebrating Will's third birthday with us!

Birthdays, Then (and Then) and Now

2011-09-29T20:03:00.000-04:00

Will played with balloons on his first birthday, all by himself.

He toddled through our old kitchen,

then disappeared around the corner.

He blew out a solitary candle on his tiny carrot cake.

His little brother was still waiting ~~in the wings~~ in my belly.

For his second birthday, Will got a Cookie Monster cake--

a little bigger, this year (the boy and the dessert).

This time, he extinguished the candle all by himself.

He still spent some time alone with his balloons...

...but he was going to have to learn how to share soon enough.

This year, Will blew out the candle with too much gusto
(while I took this picture, Dave was shouting "MOVE BACK, BUBBA!")

And oh my goodness, does the kid ever have to share:

his spotlight, his balloons, his MILK even!

Funny enough, he didn't seem to mind.

And this year, as Will disappeared around the corner with his balloons,

he was chasing his little brother.

I think he'd say this birthday was his best yet.

Will Turns Three!

2011-09-28T21:39:00.001-04:00

We woke Will up at 8 a.m. with a pair of birthday balloons, some presents to unwrap, and a singing not-so-baby brother.

Here he is with his gifts from the Philly Noons:

And here he's blowing out the candles on his birthday donuts (again).

A quick family picture before the day truly begins:

After dropping off Finny at his playgroup, we headed for the bike shop.

We were early, but Will wanted to wait outside until the sign said "OPEN," so we did.

Once inside, he went right for the bike he wanted, the same one his BFF Connor has.

They matched him with a 16" bike, which is apparently (but unsurprisingly) a big bike for a just-three-year-old. I know nothing about bikes, but I know he looked like a serious KID on that one.

He also picked out a helmet in 1.3 seconds flat--

"I want that one, ALL BLACK," he said, pointing emphatically.

We returned home with Finny in tow,

and the boys had a blast racing with their balloons.

Will shared one of his two balloons with Finny.

Not because we asked him to; he just did it, all day long.

Will also "read" the balloon out loud to me and Dave at separate intervals.

He told me that his balloon said, "Dear Will, Happy Birthday! I hope you have a great day. We'll see you next week! Love, Your Birthday."

He told Dave that it conveyed the simple message: "Dear Will, Happy Birthday! Love, Cake."

He tried on his new puffy vest,

which had been on his wish list since he had to hand his old one down to his brother.

And he didn't take off his Curious George shirt for the rest of the day.

After nap, we headed out for a nice long walk with some friends, saw a couple of trains, and went out to dinner with Nan and Mamp.

The day was like the birthday boy himself: perfectly wonderful.

The Early Birthday Party

2011-09-27T16:00:00.000-04:00

We celebrated Will's third (THIRD!?!) birthday early on Sunday with his local family.

"I got Mack! It's Maaaaaaaack!" is an appropriate caption here.

I was manning the camera and prepping the birthday ~~cake~~ Munchkins instead of posing for pictures, but it was such a fun first celebration. More to come this week...

In the Crib, Now and Then

2011-09-26T13:00:00.000-04:00

THEN it was Will's crib;

in another town,

and Will was nineteen months old...younger than Finny is now.

They didn't know what to make of one another.

NOW it's where Finn sleeps,

and Will visits sometimes.

They are always laughing

and reading to each other

or reading to themselves, side by side,

happy just to be together.

On the Cape

2011-09-24T15:16:00.001-04:00

We had a truly wonderful vacation with our friends back in August in Dennisport.

One thing that struck me was how fluid our days were because we were sharing them with people who had roughly the same daily schedule, eating and sleeping habits, and level of chaos as our household does.

There were overcast days at the beginning of the week that forced us to find fun diversions outside of our little piece of beach; then there was plenty of sun in the second half so we could take full advantage of the little float boat and giant shovels we'd brought along.

Will never likes to break up a party, and this goodbye was particularly hard. Over a month later, he still asks to go back to the Cape house, and I'm pretty sure he'd be perfectly content to have a sleepover with Connor and the rest of the Flemings every night of the week. It's a good thing they only live a mile away from us year-round!

FIRST DAY OF VACATION!!!!!

Five little monkeys, sitting in a boat...

The Big Dig

Ice cream while watching "Cars movie"

Our cloudy day activities (above and below)

Our sunny day activities:

Dads and kids:

Finny Loves Riley:

The Whole Gang

The three youngest:

And the two "big boys":

Noon boys behind the wheel:

Boys of Summer 2011

2011-09-15T10:50:00.000-04:00

Because I wasn't the primary (or any kind of) photographer at either of our beach vacations, I'll have to show you the bulk of what we did in August later...that is, when I get around to collecting those photos. Instead I'll share some ~~quieter~~ more down-home stories of summer with you:

The two above are Will and Finn playing a variation on Abby's "Fairy Game."

They call it "Airplanes!"

That's...the only variation.

This summer, Will figured out that Finny was someone to actually play with.

He likes to teach him words: "Finny, can you say AIR-PLANE?"

and congratulate him on his triumphs: "That was gooooooood eating, Finny!"

(with a slight tone of condescension, but what do you expect from an older brother?)

and show him how to do things: "Like this, Finny!

Will reads stories to Finn--and to us, and to no one.

He basically memorized "The Berenstain Bears Go to the Dentist,"

and if you've never heard a 2-year-old say things like

"There was a tamper, a squirter, and--ULP!--a yanker,"

--with emotion--you are truly missing out.

I include the above two because I think they're indicative of both

the similarities and differences between the boys' faces.

People are saying more and more how much they look alike.
I also get a lot of definitive, "They look like their dad, hunh?" and

an equal amount of, "They look just like you!"

All of this is not to paint a portrait of perfect harmony.

Will has definitely begun a steep descent into "the threes,"

marked by the realization that he can actually STAND UP during a time-out,

even if we tell him he needs to SIT DOWN.

This has led to some lengthy time-outs, some removal of beloved objects from his room,

and a lot of stifled laughter when he's doing his apologies and recounts

the time-out story: "And then I finally sat down."

A preschool update will be added by the end of this week.

It might have no pictures, but it's coming, I promise!

Something Serious

2011-08-12T16:11:00.000-04:00

This summer has been shooting past in a blur of 18-month birthdays and beach vacations (I know, I live a hard life), and I owe this blog at least a couple of posts chronicling the boys' latests and greatests.

But I feel like I have to acknowledge something that made me cry like a fool on the treadmill at the gym the other day, and something that I feel more connected to because I have close friends in Kenya working for the United Nations (who are going through various stages of a harsh flu right now).

People are probably aware that there is a horrible drought in East Africa right now, and children particularly are dying of starvation in spades. I know that there are terrible tragedies and even humanitarian crises occurring across the world every moment of the day, and I know that the economy here is playing mind games with every American, but this just feels unignorable to me. So I wanted to put a link here of where you can make a tax-deductible donation (and even put it on your credit card so you can get some points, too) online to the United Nations' World Food Programme, where Kristoffer works:

http://usa.wfp.org/donate

Select "horn of Africa" to ensure your donation goes to Somalia and other high-need countries, although I'm sure if you selected "greatest need," it would go there as well. I know Lisa and Kristoffer would be writing about this, and they have much more insight than I do, but since they're trying to manage their own family's health, I thought I'd do my best. I hope I don't sound too soapboxy, but this is just one of those things that hit me in a particular way, and I needed to put it into the ether.

I'll be back with lighter fare, updates and pictures very soon!

Summer's Here!

2011-07-04T22:06:00.002-04:00

It all started when Will got his summer haircut:

We knew the season was (almost) upon us!

So we got Mamp on board and headed to Ward's Berry Farm

for some strawberry-picking...and goat-feeding.

Thanks to Will's (Dave's) tireless work,

we came home with quite a haul.

(Finn just kept eating the berries as he picked them.)

When life gives you strawberries,

make Strawberry Cake!

This weekend, we celebrated our first true-blue hometown July 4th!

But...in the middle of it all, we escaped to the beach with Auntie Lo:

and buried our feet (not our heads) in the sand.

We came home to finish the weekend with more fun:

pony rides, face-painting, cotton candy,

and the big parade on Monday morning.

Will and Finn get along so well these days.

The other day, Will told me, "I like it when Finny's awake!"

And today he described where he and Finny will sleep

when they share a room again.

In between the field trips and holidays,

there's camp (see above),

and playdates (see below)...

...both of which result in flat-out exhaustion:

We try to make room for some downtime

(or at least watch someone else relax):

and that's fun, too.

Happy summer!

Family Day at Fenway, V2.0

2011-06-25T20:07:00.001-04:00

I told Dave he's an official "ex-Yankee fan" today. Seriously, he's been in Boston for almost fifteen years now, and he's been to WAY more Sox games than Yankee ones. Plus, for the second year in a row, he's attended Northeastern's annual Fenway Family Day with his two sons. That's some serious Red Sox Nation membership he's got going on.

Will got a spray tattoo again this year. He also played tee-ball, ran in the stands with his friend Kate, ate a cheeseburger and jammed with the live band.

WALLY!

Our friend Mo got the boys a toy Wally a few days ago, so I kept telling Will we were meeting "the REAL Wally." He high-fived this living, breathing Green Monster but didn't want to hug him.

The boys' first ever Cracker Jack moment!

Finny: "How many can I jam into my mouth at once?
Whatever, who has time to count? Snarf, chomp, etc."

Excuse my pitiful rendition, but Will had me do this so many times on the way home, and I loved the way he filled in the words. This is obviously our Boston-centric version of the song:

I really hope this continues as a family tradition.

Greased Lightning

2011-06-18T13:35:00.001-04:00

Do I have a couple of Jersey boys, or what?

They look like a pair of street urchins in the above picture.

Street urchins with fauxhawks and touristy tee-shirts.

In the elevator of a hotel the other day, a woman motioned to Finn

and said, "That's the only baby I've ever been intimidated by!"

Will announced: "Finny and I are going to school now. Bye-byyyyyye!"

"Do you guys not wear pants at this school?" I wanted to ask.

Happy Seventeen Months, Finnster!

2011-06-17T14:22:00.002-04:00

Finn at seventeen months:

And in static form:

Well, that's about as static as Finn ever gets.

Here's Will at the same age (either heading into or recovering from a bout of bronchitis, I can't remember):

Dude, what were we FEEDING that kid? Whey protein powder supplements?

He's a HORSE!

I'll have to dig up that Celtics jersey and put it on Finn for comparison's sake.

And...yeah, I admit it, they do look a lot alike when I see them at the same age. (Give or take TWENTY POUNDS, holy moley!)

June Gloom

2011-06-15T14:04:00.000-04:00

My grandmother passed away last Tuesday. Although she was ninety years old, it was still sudden. Mostly because hours earlier I had gotten an email from my mom saying she was doing better with each passing day and we should book our flight for Father's Day weekend. I still had the tabs up comparing various flight times when my dad called to say she had died.

Dave and I ended up driving with the boys to Ohio, doing two separate legs on the inbound and outbound trips. We stayed in Syracuse on the way there (spiritual homeland of my dear friend Lisa) and Buffalo on the way back for a total of 24 driving/rest stop hours and only 48 in Ohio. And this is the part that blows my mind (or the part of that still thinks I'm 22 and childless): I think it was easier than flying. No need to keep kids entertained in ever-winding security lines, no potential for late or cancelled flights, no battling traffic to get to Logan, no removing and reinstalling car seats on either end. When Finny sobbed and yelled "Up!" in his carseat, I wasn't worried about anyone else thinking we were awful parents or he was an awful baby--I just leaned over and reassured him (to no avail, of course) that we would be there soon, and slipped him some Motrin for his aching teeth--his final two are emerging, a lower incisor and a molar, and they're clearly knocking back on his heels.

Anyway, the funeral service was beautiful. The Episcopal minister knew my grandmother well, so it was personal and moving and delicately done. She read this poem by Mary Oliver to us as a fitting illustration of how my "Mom-Mom" looked at life:

When Death Comes

When death comes
like the hungry bear in autumn;
when death comes and takes all the bright coins from his purse

to buy me, and snaps the purse shut;
when death comes
like the measle-pox

when death comes
like an iceberg between the shoulder blades,

I want to step through the door full of curiosity, wondering:
what is it going to be like, that cottage of darkness?

And therefore I look upon everything
as a brotherhood and a sisterhood,
and I look upon time as no more than an idea,
and I consider eternity as another possibility,

and I think of each life as a flower, as common
as a field daisy, and as singular,

and each name a comfortable music in the mouth,
tending, as all music does, toward silence,

and each body a lion of courage, and something
precious to the earth.

When it's over, I want to say all my life
I was a bride married to amazement.
I was the bridegroom, taking the world into my arms.

When it's over, I don't want to wonder
if I have made of my life something particular, and real.

I don't want to find myself sighing and frightened,
or full of argument.

I don't want to end up simply having visited this world.

I adore that poem--not only for how lovingly it describes my grandmother, but also for how it reminds me about the importance of taking risks, trusting myself, living with purpose.

We didn't go in the pool; the water was too cold. We did many of the usual things we do at Grandma Bobbie's house, only sometimes taking sharp breaths when we remembered she wasn't there. I could feel my mind attempting to puzzle out the situation. We were there, but she was not. It didn't make any sense. She lived there for something like 57 years, raising five children, entertaining nine grandchildren and then six great-grandchildren. She lived by herself for thirty years: my entire lifetime. She beat pancreatic cancer in 1990, after her doctors said she had minimal chance of living five more years. She had no nurses or home health aides or live-in help. That's why it felt sudden; it seemed like she could just keep on going forever, at least to me.

This is her obituary. The picture of her is one from our wedding, which makes me love it all the more.

And I'll be back to blog some much lighter fare in a few days, most notably the pictures that accidentally make my boys look like castmembers from The Outsiders.

Pink and Ruffles and Glitter and Bows...

2011-05-31T14:51:00.001-04:00

Emma Jean, born May 25th

Look at our new niece! Isn't she beautiful? I can't wait to spoil her rotten.

Barn Babies, Barn Babies, Here on the Field...*

2011-05-29T08:28:00.000-04:00

Will is an animal lover of the highest order. Dave and I have had to coach him from an early age NOT to go nose-to-nose with every dog and cat he meets, and Will talks to them with Doolittlean ease: "Sully [our neighbor's cat], I'm gonna go inside and put on my Crocs, okay, Sully? I'll be right back."

So clearly we jumped at the chance to get to a Barn Babies event at a park down the street from our house. I told Will that if he loved Barn Babies (where you get to sit in pens with lambs and piglets and hold swaddled kittens in your lap), we could invite them to our house for his third birthday party in September.

I might as well put the deposit in now, right? Here are some other shots, including Finny and Will's "longtime" playgroup friends Abby and Connor.

*Whenever I hear "Barn Babies," I can't get that "Beach Baby" song out of my head. I definitely spent too much time listening to Oldies 103 as a small child.

Housewarming

2011-05-22T17:04:00.000-04:00

Our housewarming party was over a week ago, and we haven't had a warm day since--forget about sun, I'm talking damp and chilly, all week--in the middle of May.

We're lucky to have some great memories (and accompanying photos) to cheer us up:

Will jumped up and down every time a new guest arrived, sometimes running around the room for good measure. It's clear nothing pleases him more than being surrounded by people he loves (who love him back).

Finny mostly liked the food.

Riley, "Uncle Paul," and Connor

Abby

Ade and Natalie

("Natalie" has become a common noun in our circle, as in:

"I just hope my next baby's a Natalie.")

Rylan nestling in with Nikki

A scene from indoors

Finny, again with food in his mouth

Finn really got a kick out of Cousin Bella.

And Will got a big kick out of "driving" Uncle Mark's truck!

(Mark, who is also Will's godfather, just moved up for good to join his family. Welcome home!)

The truck fanaticism didn't stop there. Somehow, BFFs Will and Connor found their way in, and they were pretty excited.

Will said he wanted to share some cornbread with Auntie Lo;

this was not what she had in mind.

Auntie Ceci with Brendan

Auntie Rache (the biological auntie) and Auntie AlRo enjoying my homemade sangria!

The Power family and Uncle Ryan catch up

Bucket seat buds: Riley and Rylan

The playgroup moms in attendance...plus Rick!

(Including Laurie and Susan, both far right)

Our stone wall is irresistible to toddlers--here's Bill helping Catherine walk on it--

--and Rick doing the same with Kenley.

Dave, Finny, and Uncle Ry

Finn conked out and elected to get some rest on the kitchen floor as the party wound down.

I noted that this photo was a nice companion piece to an image of me sleeping in the limo at the end of my bachelorette party. Oh, how times have changed!

Will decided to tickle a man when he's down.

Then he decided that if you can't beat 'em (up), join 'em!

Thanks to all our friends and family who made it out; we hope to host you as often as possible in the coming years. There's a standing invite to all those who couldn't make it, too, of course!

Joyful Boy

2011-04-26T14:00:00.001-04:00

Whether strumming

or reading;

dressing up;

eating;

attempting to spell

or jamming with Mamp,

hanging with babies*

or setting up camp--

When you show us your strength,

when you slow down at night,

when you dance with your brother

and cuddle him tight;

When sometimes you whine, as a two-year-old will,

even when you are cranky--I love you then, still;

But mostly your cheer is so clear it's a joy

to watch you grow up, my big blond-headed boy.

A Nap a Day Keeps the Cabin Fever Away

2011-04-25T13:41:00.000-04:00

Boring toddler sleep-pattern post here--mostly for my own "journaling" purposes, so feel free to just look at the photos.

At fifteen months, Finn was still sleeping from 8-6, then taking a longer morning nap and a funky do-I-need-it-or-not afternoon nap. I thought this was weird, since Will was basically down to one nap a lot sooner, but nothing needed to change...until something REALLY needed to change. Finn was sort of fussy all afternoon long, and he didn't seem like he was getting enough sleep in a 24-hour period, and it was also tough mentally for me to stay home for his nap and then stay home for Will's nap in the afternoon. That's a little too much hermit living for someone like me.

I was lamenting Finn's need for two naps per day when I got together with my Isis moms (aka, my longtime mental health support group) for dinner a week ago. "He's sooooo far away from one nap a day," I groaned.

Two and a half years of playgroup therapy

The next day? I pushed him to one nap, and it worked! But as Ceci says, one day's a fluke; we did it again the next day, and again! It worked! Finn has had only the one nap a day for seven straight days (today is his eighth).

Unexpectedly, in nap-training Finn, we've had to sleep-train him, too. I suppose it's not a huge surprise that daytime and nighttime sleep are so closely related, but Will was always a great nighttime sleeper and a fine napper, except for those days when he'd fall asleep in the car or seem to need a nap so much earlier/later than he had the day before, and I'd lose my mind because NO MORE INCONSISTENCY! But Finny always woke up between 6 and 7, and I just assumed that's who he was.

(Isn't it hard to walk the line between "That's just who he is!" and "Let's throw a million schedules at him and see what sticks"? It is for me.)

Anyway, we've been putting him down at 7, then crying him out at the oddest hours (one night, 2 a.m., another night 5:05) while his brain gets sorted anew. Last night he slept from 7:20 to 6:30 in the morning, and it was divine. Then I spent every five-minute car ride of the morning (thank goodness we live only five minutes from Will's preschool now) jostling his car seat at red lights and singing obnoxious "FINNY!!!" songs to keep him awake.

The one other thing that's different is that we trained Finn to put himself to sleep A LOT earlier than we did Will. In fact, I think Will was fifteen months when we finally decided that, with a newborn entering the household, Will was going to have to fall asleep NOT in our arms. Also, he weighed about a million pounds already, so the rocking was truly grueling. Finny knows how to fall asleep, but he also knows how to screech at top decibels if he's looking to protest. So in the last weeks, we'd been going in and putting him back down when he screeched, and forgetting that at his age he actually can understand us. When that clicked in, I started saying "Finn, it's time to go to sleep. Mama's just in the other room, and I'll see you after nap."

And hallelujah! It works.

Next up on the list of Developmental Milestones For Which I Can't Wait? The dissipation of stranger anxiety and separation anxiety and the mean little overlap of the two. Finny's happy to play at Will's preschool, to play with our sitter Maggie, to play with my parents--but the second I try to walk out of the sitting room at the gym, he gets completely freaked. I'm trying to use reassuring words in that situation, too, but I remember Will just growing out of it, certainly by eighteen months, and probably not because of anything I said or did. Oh well.

Easter Boys

2011-04-24T16:30:00.000-04:00

The Easter bunny came this morning! S/he (we still haven't decided on a pronoun in this house) delivered some miniature construction trucks, a tow truck and a police car, as well as some ~~contraband~~ candy.

The three stages of Discovering Reese's Chocolate Peanut Butter Eggs:

I: SKEPTICISM

II: CURIOSITY

III: BLISS

We went to 9:30 Mass, and the boys were wonderful. Afterward, I told Will I was so proud of him.

"I did such a good job," he agreed. "And I was so quiet. Just like I said!"

Of course, it didn't hurt that two Easter bunny chocolates were waiting for him at home.

Happy Easter, everybody!

There Can Only Be One, Too

2011-04-22T21:05:00.000-04:00

I wrote this post about Will just after he hit fifteen months. It was also a couple of weeks before Finn was born, which is shocking to me. How was I not panicking that I was about to have a baby when I still had...a baby?!? Will didn't feel like a baby to me, though.

Finn does, and so I'm amazed by the non-baby traits that keep cropping up. Here's a partial list of his words as of this week:

Up, outside ("ah-sigh"), upstairs ("usta"), car, truck ("uckuck"), Will ("Bee-uw"), more, uh-oh, hi, buh-bye, hat, dog, Nan ("Naaa"), Mamp (he said "Mampa" today), Dada, Mama, bread, Goldfish ("goh")...

He loves to read, particularly: Fire Truck by Peter Sis, Opposites by Sandra Boynton (and add "oppa" to the list of partial words he can say), The Three Bears by Byron Barton, and Good Night, Gorilla by Peggy Rathmann.

(He also loves belly buttons, and saying "tick" as he lunges for yours.)

He still signs "please." Then there's the ubiquitous "yeah" and "no," accompanied by the appropriate head movement. This has been going on for at least a month, and it's the most helpful thing Finn's done in his short life thus far. As long as you can make your question conform to a yes/no format, you can ask him anything! (It wasn't as helpful as I would've liked the other morning, when I was trying to get him back to bed after a 5 a.m. wake-up and said, "Do you want to go back to sleep?" "Naw," he said firmly, turning his head left to right. Oooookay. What now?)

This week was a triumph of sorts for Finn: Monday was his first "one-nap" day, and I rearranged our schedule for every subsequent day so we'd have the best shot at keeping the streak alive. And we did it! Dave and I may have had to maneuver some weird 2 a.m. CIO sessions, and I might have whispered some bad words under my breath after today's nap (consisting of one hour) ended abruptly today, but overall: success!

Finn's definitely a cold-turkey kid. We cut him off from pacifiers altogether overnight, and that was that. We did the same with bottles somewhere before thirteen months, and he was cool with that, too. He's never attached to a "love-love" the way Will did with (his now multiple) Gogo(s). Finn prefers people. He's a nuzzler and a snuggler.

At his fifteen-month appointment, he came up 28 lbs. and some undetectable amount of inches, since he wouldn't stand (literally and metaphorically) for his height check. Our doctor guess-timated 31, but I think he's closer to 32. Will was 34 inches, and you can clearly see the differences in body type when you compare Finny wearing this same 3T PJ one-piece from the pictures of Will at the exact same age.

"Right now, he's heftier than he is long," chuckled the doctor. Let me tell you why this is unsurprising: I thought Will could eat, but this kid can Eat. A normal breakfast for Finn consists of a cup of diced peaches, two slices of raisin bread with peanut butter, a WHOLE banana, and a cup of milk. He eats a mid-morning and an afternoon snack, and his lunch and dinner are as preposterous as his breakfast, in terms of volume. We buy three gallons of milk per week; one for Finn, one for Will, and one for me and Dave. Guess which one has a bit left over on Sunday? THE ONE THAT IS SHARED BY THE TWO FULL-SIZED ADULTS.

I submit as evidence: his tummy is about to bust out of this Idaho tee courtesy of his Great-Aunt Kathy (Dave's godmother) and Great-Uncle Tom.

As I'm sure most little brothers do, Finn watches his big brother like an Us Weekly paparazzo. Lately, though, Finn's also been branching out into some independent play. He used to sort of hang around Will, waiting for attention or to see what was going to happen. But he still laughs uproariously at almost anything his brother does.

My sweet fifteen-month-old has probably had five tantrums so far, but each is a total "Whuuuuut?" experience for me, since my two-and-a-half-year-old has never really had ONE. Yet. (And when Will starts to whip his arms around and makes his preparatory shrieking noise, we say, "Will, stop it. Hands are not for hitting." And he STOPS. And then snuggles with us, likely because he feels guilty or something sweet like that.) Finny does the full-on sequence of tantrums like the ones I've seen on YouTube: 1) Whine with an open mouth, baring splayed, emergent front teeth; 2) Intensify the nasal tone of the whine, throw head back further; 3) Fall to floor in despair, 4) Roll side to side, screaming at the floor as if it's to blame for your woe; 5) Wonder vaguely what you're supposed to be upset about, allow yourself to be distracted by something more fun, end tantrum.

So far I've watched with a bemused eye, because I really don't know what to do with this irrational behavior. My older kid is SO rational. You explain things to Will and he processes my reasoning and moves on. Oh, not so with my Finny Finn!

And fifteen months later, I honestly don't know how I ever lived without him.

Fearless Finn at Fourteen Months

2011-03-24T21:54:00.000-04:00

Here's Finny basically walking off the kitchen counter into Nan's arms or mine--after he does a little spin move and some rump-shaking, of course.

This kid is going to be give me a real run for my money.

Two and a Half Man

2011-03-23T22:58:00.000-04:00

Will tells stories now. He is endlessly entertaining, and I look forward to seeing him in the morning just so I can hear what he's going to say.

The other day, he told me it was time for a "puppet show" (he gets this from My Gym) and proceeded to narrate a story in which a dog named Spot went to an island where "the trains were chugging all around, and the ducks were swimming all around, and one duck got off on the sidewalk and said 'Hi!'" I often eavesdrop as he quietly acts out scenes with his Noah's Ark animals.

The videos I'm trying to post of these story-telling skills are apparently too big to upload, so instead I'll post Dave's interview with Will in which he explains where his favorite plane and truck are going.

Things I've Learned the Hard Way

2011-03-21T22:00:00.000-04:00

[Tip: Anyone who's not interested in the minutiae of life with little ones should skip to the bottom of this post and enjoy the photo portion only!]

Having two kids in sixteen months is really an experience unto itself. As Finny approaches the age at which Will became a big brother (he's about six weeks away from that marker), my brain has had a little breathing room--just a little--and I find myself being both intro- and retrospective.

So here are some things I've learned about having two closely-spaced babies. Most of these things I learned the hard way, or at least not without some amount of mental resistance.

1. When you can carry your little baby in a Bjorn or an Ergo (aka, for the first seven or so months of his life), that is THE EASY PART. People made remarks about how easy I made it look, but the reality is that--at least compared to now--it WAS easy. Because Finn was a winter baby, I had to nurse him in the car in those early months--but when the weather was warmer, I nursed him right there on the woodchips while Will caroused on the playground. Fitting in frequent feedings was something I had to think about, but not much. I basically followed Will's schedule, and Finn did too.

My point is not, "Pshaw! Anyone can handle two under two!" My point is: It's going to get trickier logistically, so insofar as it's possible, enjoy the convenience of the baby-as-accessory phase. I'm SO HAPPY that I can look back fondly on those days of Finn sleeping through Will's MyGym classes and playgroups, instead of feeling like I took them for granted.

2. You must use Munchkin straw sippy cups if you don't want milk to spill all over and therefore ruin a $36 lunchbox.

Let me clarify: I didn't mean to purchase a $36 lunchbox in the first place. I was out with the boys one day when it was flurrying, and we were at Legacy Place, and they weren't happy in the stroller, but they were dressed for the weather, and Will was about to start preschool. I grabbed a trendy robot lunchbox whose vinyl looked hardy enough, and I rushed to pay for it, and there was no way I was backing out after she'd rung me up and I was staring at that ridiculous receipt. Neither I nor Will even particularly like robots! And if anything, I go out of my way to avoid looking like a hipster who wants to pay a chunk of change for a trendy lunchbox! But I was stuck!

And then I threw a few of our B-list sippies in there and the milk seeped into the insulation of the lunchbox, and that thing was TOAST. No amount of scrubbing or machine washing could undo that doozy, so I trudged out to LL Bean to buy this lunchbox. I love it--it fits two sippy cups standing right-side-up, and a hard ice pack, and a couple of food containers, and it's not at all trendy.

But the other lesson was, stick with the greatest straw sippy cups ever, which are these Munchkin ones. I know that everyone has a different experience with every cup, but it's so weird to me that one review here says "not for biters," because Will is most definitely a straw-biter, and these are the only ones that have held up in our household. They really also are the most spill-proof we've found, and they're top-rack dishwasher safe, and I trust them. My only complaint is that some of the two-packs have traditional "boy" and "girl" colors mixed in, and I can't always order specific colors.

3. Going to the playground is a workout, and the diaper bag has become all-important again.

I still don't believe the celebrity moms who say they've maintained their figure "chasing after their kids," mostly because I think that since they have people who work for them and help them (which is great!) and many of them still work part- or full-time jobs (also great!), it's hard to buy that they're getting an hour of pure chasing-kid time in per day. But now, I sort of see why they might *think* they are toning their calves on the playground, because one semi-competent mobile kid plus one incompetent and fearless kid equals an epic morning of sprinting in many directions.

In the last two days (our first playground-worthy days of the season!) I have developed a timing strategy for keeping track of both boys without panicking. I've named it (come on, you all know I like to name things) the 5/2 strategy, and it's making me suspect I was a QB coach in a former life.

It's simple: if both boys aren't right next to me, that I need to trail Finny much more closely. The maximum ratio in terms of distance from each is 5:2, so I could be 15 feet from Will but only 6 feet from Finny. You all can do the math.

The more important piece of the 5/2 strategy is the timing, though. I try to keep my attention on Finny for 5 seconds, and then I locate and check in on Will for no more than 2 before returning to my little loose cannon, who thinks that if he just walks off the top step, the next one will magically rise to meet him.

So, the diaper bag. It faded from the spotlight for a while, and now it is back with a vengeance. Here is what seems to be necessary for an hours-long playground visit:

Diapers and wipes, of course (Although I try not to change diapers while we're out, if I have to, I do it in the car because I am a totally unabashed MINIVAN WORSHIPER and I CAN.)
Those Munchkin sippies filled with water or milk for the big boy
Nuby sippies like these for the non-straw-using little boy (least spillage for a straight-up sippy in our usage history)
Snacks in little containers or plastic baggies
A book or two to keep them focused while they're sitting down to snack
Layers and baseball caps
Sunscreen stick
CleanWell hand sanitizing spray
Vaseline (I used this to get jelly off my hands when I was out of wipes AND to dab on Will's hands when he tripped and scraped up his palms today)
Tissues, napkins, washcloths

The notable items left off this list are things I brought to the park when Will was this age that fall into one of two categories: So Rarely Used That It's Not Worth Packing and/or Huge Pain to Keep Track of When You Have Two Toddlers.

Extra set of clothes/socks, little toy cars or balls of any size, diaper cream, an entire lunch--these all fall into one or both of those categories.

Now for those playground photos:

Fast Like a Christmas Tree

2011-02-25T22:25:00.000-05:00

I found this while I was downloading videos off our Flip, and I had to post it here. It's a video of Will and Uncle Kai from our Christmas in New Jersey, and it basically illustrates why it's so tough to leave after a week of this, all the time:

Catching Up: Will Goes to Preschool!

2011-02-21T22:04:00.000-05:00

That's right--my firstborn has started preschool, three mornings a week.

We started by spending an hour and a half there together a few weeks ago. He went by himself the next day, and it was so odd to drive away without him. It had nothing to do with trusting his teachers (I do) or feeling like it wasn't the right decision (I don't); it just felt like the baby monitor was out of range, and instead of toggling the channel switch back and forth to get better reception, I was just...leaving. With no window into my son's life. It was weird, and when it bordered on unsettling, I'd repeat (out loud): It's good for him, and it's good for me. It's good for him, and it's good for me.

On his second Monday, he was unusually cranky, but I chalked it up to tiredness and transition. Then I got an email from the director asking if it was normal that Will had fallen asleep on her floor for a "morning nap." Oh. Not normal, no, so I picked him up early, and soon afterward my mother's intuition detected that he might have an ear infection. HAHA! Just kidding. He clutched the left side of his head and said, "Mommy, my ear isn't feeling better!" We went to the doctor, where I paid fifteen dollars for the (totally wonderful, but still) pediatrician to confirm Will's self-diagnosis, and then we got Baby's First Amoxicillin Rx, and that was that. He was cleared to go for the rest of the week, and he warmed to it and is having a great time.

That's a Toy Story backpack he's sporting--he is officially "into" Buzz, Woody, Jessie and the gang, although his loyalty has recently been tested by what he calls "Cars Movie!" He will sometimes get so excited at the mere idea of it that he'll jump around yelling "CARS MOVIE! I KNOW JUST THE ONE! WHAT IS LIGHTING-DA-QUEEN DOING, DADDY? CARS MOVIE!"

(He also has taken to narrating his toys' actions as if they were characters in a book. For example, the other day he was hopping a little stuffed dog around, and I heard him say, "Ah-choo, the puppy cried." Seriously, like he was reading a story about the dog.)

(Last thing, I promise: Will says "I love you so MUCH, Mommy!" exactly like that. With the emphasis and upward inflection on the MUCH. I really want to capture it on video, but in case I don't, I need it recorded here because it is my favorite thing ever.)

Catching Up: Finn's 1st Birthday Party

2011-02-18T23:05:00.000-05:00

This video is courtesy of Auntie Ceci:

We celebrated Finn's birthday (almost a month ago, closer to when his birthday actually HAPPENED) at MyGym, and it was a total blast.

I'll be doing more Catching Up posts as the days go by--it makes me sad when I'm not keeping up here, and it almost invariably means I'm not keeping up with my one-line-a-day books or my kids' baby journals. Things are not getting any less busy, so I need to stop using that as an excuse if I'm ever going to write here regularly again!

Finny Turns One

2011-01-17T21:38:00.000-05:00

My Finny turned one today. Although I've been referring to him as a one-year-old for almost a month, it still startles me that now it's real.

I haven't written here for a month. It's been too crazy, and I'm writing in my new one-line-a-day journals for each kid, and I never have time or access to type during the day. Or night. I'm too busy because my boys are SO. BUSY.

My hope was to make this post all about my younger son, but the reality is, Finn won't have the same undivided blog attention that Will enjoyed. So...this is what Finn's been up to (and what his big brother's been doing, too):

We went to Edaville to ride the steam train.

We celebrated Christmas in Boston...

we celebrated Christmas in New Jersey.

Finn dive-bombed cousin Brendan!

He got tickled by Grandmom.

Will went ice skating for the first time!

Back to the birthday boy: we celebrated early in Jersey.

Will triked with Finny on the back, and then:

they switched places.

We survived a two-plus-foot blizzard.

With Nan and Mamp.

And Finny turned one.

ONE.

He's a wonderful boy with a great personality. Easily amused, quickly indignant, rapidly distracted. He's begun to say (versions of) "Up" and "Baby" and "Please." Unlike Will, who sits up after a nap and starts in with the questions, Finn takes thirty minutes to wake up. In that time, he crashes into my chest, nuzzles my neck, rests on me while he regains his land legs. He's constantly working on how to be even more mobile, which can be...inconvenient.

But he's dimpled and chubby and busy and happy and still my little baby--no matter what the calendar says.

Pants on Fire, Self-Fulfilling Prophesies, and Peter Pan by Proxy

2010-12-17T15:01:00.000-05:00

The other day, Will asked his sitter, Maggie, if they could play with the "small toys" (choking hazards).

"No, we have to wait until Finny takes a nap. Otherwise he might put them in his mouth and that would be bad!" she explained.

Will looked at his baby brother (BARELY a baby; eleven months old today!?!?), then back at Maggie, and said, "I think Finny is tired."

**********

I don't think there are a lot of people who LOVE feeling unmoored, but I still probably land somewhere way, way, way over on the "HATE IT" end of the spectrum.

However, I unintentionally give myself a hard time about how bothered I am by it. I'm constantly trying to talk myself out of feeling stressed, as if it isn't taxing to a) not know where you'll be living in 2011, b) not know where one kid is going to preschool or what you'll do to fill the other one's days, and c) feel like you want to do some more work in your field, although you can't see a way to add more work into the daily schedule of motherhood.

I'd like to spend some time on a project I first developed three years ago while heading up my Intervention & Assessment classroom. It's an important idea for a curriculum that's desperately needed in our high school classrooms, and I've seen the need for it firsthand, and...I just feel way too out-of-the-loop to know how to jump back in. And there's the time issue, which is kind of a huge one.

Anyway, I'm putting this out there in the spirit of that Secret book Oprah loves so much. I've never read it, but I think the main point is that you're supposed to tell the universe what you want and then things start happening to grant you your wish(es). I do have a hard time with the concept that "it's as easy as that!" because of, you know, the starving and disease-ridden and oppressed millions who...just didn't want it badly enough?

BUT, one day in August of '07, I was talking to myself in the car about my current job, and how it wasn't right for me. The schoolyear was due to start again in less than a month, and I said something out loud like, "I really wish I could find a place that really suited me, where I felt like I could do everything I wanted to." And mere days later, I got a call from the director of the I&A classroom asking if I was interested in taking over the lead teacher position. If that job had been a tangible object, it would have literally fallen in my lap.

So. Wonders never cease, right?

**********

Finny is eleven months old today, and this morning I woke up and thought, "I will absolutely cry on his first birthday."

I know how fast this goes now. Bear with my analogy, if you will: Motherhood started out feeling like a train, and I was the conductor, and the upcoming mile markers thrilled me; then it became a symbiotic thing where I still had my role, but now the train had a mind of its own (like Thomas!). And then I had another kid and started to feel like I was running down the tracks in pursuit of this runaway car, and if I could just--move--faster--?

Finn SO VIVIDLY remains a nursing, crawling infant in my mind, and part of me harbors the preposterous hope that time isn't linear and we'll get back there someday. I can't believe we're only moving forward, at a pace that's beyond my ever-shrinking sphere of influence.

He slept all the time, I remember.

And now he's this sweet and handsome and charming little blue-eyed BOY.

(Or "Chubby little man!" as Will calls him.)

So Finny and I are at odds: he wants to grow up, and I'd prefer that he didn't. And although neither of us is the conductor of that particular train, I have a feeling Finn's going to win this one. And THAT makes me feel like crying.

All in a Month's Work

2010-12-15T21:20:00.000-05:00

You know when you have "Call so-and-so!" on your list, and then as the days tick by with no time for phone calls there is SO MUCH MORE to tell so-and-so, and you try to keep track of it all, and then you have to block out more and more time for this supposed phone-based catch-up session, and before you know it, it's been a month? Or more? That's what happened on this here blog.

First, I didn't want to jinx anything by discussing the sale of our condo. Real-estate-wise, how have we been burned? Let me count the ways:

-new construction home delayed by two weeks, then a month, then another month, and finally doesn't come through *plus* we have to do battle with the builder to get any money back for our upgrades

-rushed condo purchase leads to...interesting...upstairs neighbors, a far-less-than-ideal location in a busy intersection

-the whole thing about the economy tanking and our not being able to sell said condo for anywhere near what we paid

-our first buyers for the condo, five months after it goes on the market, back out post-"under agreement" for no reason at all, before the home inspection's even happened

And those are just the biggies. So you can forgive us for being closed-mouthed when it looked like we might actually, honest-to-goodness get out of our place once and for all.

But it happened. We closed on November 29 and moved in with my parents. And (Mom, Dad, I love you, thank you for being so wonderful, but) that's pretty rough on a 30-year-old with a husband and two young kids. There are trade-offs, and the good of escaping a home we KNEW we wanted to escape CERTAINLY outweighs any bad that accompanies this temporary situation. I won't get into all the pros and cons, but please believe me when I say, for all the short-term perils of a crowded house and six conflicting schedules, I'm vastly grateful to have the opportunity to conduct a house hunt that is Thorough and Thoughtful rather than Rushed and Desperate.

Then, the kids' "new things" kept piling up and changing. Will went from saying "Cranbezzies" to "Cranberries" and I didn't cry because at least he still says "Peamup and jelly," and that's about the cutest thing that's ever happened, maybe to anyone. My big boy has been in his big-boy bed for four months now, and he has never had one iota of angst regarding that transition. He HAS been working through a cough for the last month and a half, which means when he partially wakes up in the middle of the night, Dave and I completely wake up. We've recently begun addressing this problem (for us) with something called Wal-Zyr (for him), a Walgreens-brand antihistamine approved for 2-year-olds. It's been fabulous, as has my discovery of Walgreens. Hey, did you all know there's a place that sells the same stuff as CVS but has, like, great coupons and Jingle Bucks on top of already low prices and steep sales? You probably all did, but as my turn as a bargain shopper is relatively new, I had not known. (My mom got concerned when she realized I was suddenly all about the coupons--I had to reassure her that it was, in fact, my classic What's The Point of Doing Anything Without Going Whole Hog? routine and not the more worrisome We're Broke So I'm Off to Fight that Lady in Line for the Last Bottle of 99-Cent Apple Juice life crisis.)

Back to Will! He's as verbal and as gargantuan as ever. We just ordered size 10.5 double-wide sneakers for him. If you don't have a two-year-old, trust me when I say that's RIDICULOUS. He says things like, "I'm tempted to see everything!" and "Finny, you're such a cute little munchkin!" In other words (ha), he parrots us all the time, but also seems to know what he's saying. It always takes me aback when he paraphrases something I've said, as if he needs to make it his own, or just comes up with something spontaneously--lately it's been on-the-spot songs narrating his thought process, like when we were at his bestie Connor's house and he sang, "I want to hold--hold--hold--Con-nor's hand--hand--hand." I didn't have the heart to tell him it was bordering on copyright infringement and the remaining Beatles would surely sue if they caught wind of his plagiarism.

And Finny? Finny walks, runs, pivots, swivels, bends, lunges, squats, and generally runs me ragged. I can't believe I used to sit on my playroom floor and despair while Will toddled around me and Finny lay sleeping on my lap. THOSE WERE INDEED THE DAYS.

Finn also continues to sign, tries to talk--he can half-say a lot of words when prompted. Much like Will at (almost) eleven months, nothing is safe around that boy. He is, however, less of the Dismantling and Reassembling variety than his older brother--Finn's more a "Let's hurl this ball/block/4-pack of paper towels as far and as hard as I possibly can. Over and over and over," sort of guy. His new game is to kiss me repeatedly, with a wagging tongue and an open, drooly mouth. It would be positively disgusting if he had one less dimple and stubbier lashes and eyes with no twinkle, and if he was missing that guttural, joyful chuckle that punctuates our days. Instead, that sloppy French kiss is out-of-this-world adorable, and I'm constantly squeezing him and then pulling back to ask for "Kisses?" He even makes a "MWAH" noise. He's crazy cute, demands an audience, grunts heartily when he needs something, beats his chest as he circles the house, smiles at everyone, snuggles us all, and LOVES his Cheerios and his mozzarella. Purees are, like, SO three months ago, says his expression when Chicken and Summer Vegetables are on the menu.

And see? This post is already ages long, and I still have covered maybe .0000003% of everything that's happened since last I wrote here. I still have to put up pictures of Thanksgiving and tell you about the many wonders of the boys' Mary Poppins-esque babysitter. For tonight, I'll leave you with these:

My sweet and exhausting boys. And also Bulldog the bulldog.

Look Who's Walking Too

2010-11-17T00:25:00.000-05:00

Just two days shy of his ten-month birthday, Finn decided it was time to be a toddler. Literally.

Weaning Begins

2010-10-20T11:30:00.048-04:00

At nine months and one day, Finny had his first taste of formula. I must say, he seems to have enjoyed it QUITE A BIT. First I mixed it with breastmilk, thinking I might have to ease him in. He devoured the combo, then housed two additional bottles of straight formula. As you can see, he also appreciates the independence and portability the bottle affords him.

The backstory is: after a goal of six weeks, then twelve weeks, then four, five and six months, I found myself nursing-goal-less. The one-year mark was still a full six months away, which was as long as I'd already been breastfeeding. I have D-MER, which makes every feeding a bit of a mindgame. Still I wondered--can I make it to a year? Go straight from breastmilk to cow's milk?

Finn had started with solids, and I thought about weaning, but I liked that I was still breastfeeding. I didn't particularly like breastfeeding itself, mind you--Finn was getting more and more mobile and antsy, and fighting both him AND the hormones while trying to keep him from biting me--that part wasn't fun. And he's been such a snacker, never much of a bonder; it wasn't as if I was going to miss having him reliant on me for his nutritional needs, right? Or for comfort? Did he even get comfort from nursing?

These questions jockeyed for space in my brain while I Just Kept Going. Day by day, feeding by feeding.

On Sunday, Finn's nine-month birthday exactly, I bit the proverbial bullet and bought a can of formula. I told Ceci I felt self-conscious doing it, like it was contraband. "Remaining symptoms of PTSD," I explained to her. I got home with it and read the label: USE WITHIN 30 DAYS OF OPENING. Well, I thought, I'll never use all that powder in a month. What a waste of money. I eyed it cagily. You again. I left it in the cabinet.

The next day, a few hours after his first-thing morning feeding, Finn was scrounging for more. We were in the playroom with our sitter Maggie, and I thought of that canister in the cupboard. "I'm going to try it," I said to Maggie. And I did. And it was such a relief, to have done it, no matter what happens in the next few months.

It reminds me of the argument that feminism isn't about forcing women to keep their maiden names or to work outside the home when they have children; instead it's supposed to allow for options and opportunities. I am so, so happy that I was able to battle the obstacles for nine full months, and that I can still nurse Finn when it works for us--I'm also so, so happy that I have alternatives.

Finn at Nine Months

2010-10-18T22:13:00.000-04:00

Second sons are the wandering ones,

so we were the best of friends.

I never felt more like myself

than when I stood beside him then.*

*Jim Cuddy

Thank You, Finny!

2010-10-14T15:09:00.000-04:00

An hour and a half of napping this morning, 70 minutes and counting this afternoon, happy consumption of chicken/green bean/carrot/prune casserole at lunch, gales of laughter with every kiss on his nose and every game of (mostly inadvertent) peekaboo...it's been a good day.

And so I don't forget: another difference between the boys that's been striking lately is the way they take in the world. Will was so furiously tactile; we all remember how at about nine months he'd put his fingers on our faces, in our mouths every time we made a noise. It looked like he was trying to learn by feeling how we did it. Finny seems visual instead. He always seems to be puzzling things out, and he is ALWAYS watching. He's been more of an imitator (sticking out his tongue when we do, for instance) from the get-go than Will was, and Finn never wants us or any of his beloved toys out of his line of sight. Recently his constant attention to Big Brother has paid off in a lot of independent standing and deft manipulation of the toy drawers in the playroom. Oh boy.

But have I mentioned how cute he is? One look at that face and you'll understand why, nap or no nap, I'm madly in love.

Will's (Second) Second Birthday Party

2010-10-13T23:24:00.000-04:00

This is the last batch of photos and then I promise I'm DONE blathering on about Will turning two, even though I still can't believe that's he's two. Two!

(Although I can kind of believe it when he says things to Finny like, "You are half-nakies, little man!" or gets on his pretend-phone to ask for a takeout salad, telling the person who's ostensibly writing down his order, "Anyway, we'll figure it out." (He then added, "Cookies?"))

Will celebrated his second b-day with a bunch of aunties and uncles and his Nan and Mamp and also his best buds (and their younger siblings). He had So Much Fun, and has been talking about it ever since.

Playgroup babies: The second batch (so far)
Natalie at 2.5m, Finny at 8.5m, Brendan and Riley at 2.5 weeks

Auntie Nikki with Baby Natalie

The birthday boy and his fans

The littlest Noon wanted to know where his cake was

I love you, man.
(Will and Connor)

I photo-bombed the Orrs. Classy.

A 3-D Thomas cake? Nothing better.

The cake was so good, it levitated

On this day, it was Thomas' face and not his engine
that was very useful (to Will, anyway).

Abby enjoying some Thomas cake

Will slipping into a Thomas-cake-induced
state of unconsciousness

Mamp, Will, Nan

Uncle Ryan, Dave and Finny, Rick (who?) and Kenley

"Abby, Finn's a younger man," Susan pointed out
after this (Finn-initiated) liplock occurred.

Auntie Melissa and her fiance Pete,
who was elevated to "Uncle" status when...

...he took at least some credit for this
Thomas Rock Quarry track and ramp set.

Auntie Ceci and Connor.
Yes, she had full-term twins two weeks ago. Really.

Auntie Lo, Auntie Alro (plus Brendan), Auntie Kerry

Reading his new "Trucks Go" book

Not so sure about his conductor's cap

After the party, there's the after-party

FYI, Uncle Chris is in none of these photos because he was designated photographer--and did quite a nice job, might I add (LAUREN). Thanks, Chris! And thanks to everyone who made this day and every day of Will's life thus far so very over-the-top-with-joy happy.

The Same, Also Different

2010-10-13T14:59:00.000-04:00

I've written a few times here about these frequent "revelations" that Little Brother is a whole 'nother human being, separate from Big Brother. In the last few months, though, those "They're different!" moments have dwindled, while the "They really are brothers!" revelations have surged.

As with most things related to having children, their similarities can be wonderful and then sometimes really cruel.

Finn is now following in Will's foosteps when it comes to falling asleep in the car. It's GREAT when we're driving for at least thirty minutes but not more than forty-five; I can count on Finn to fall asleep and then stay asleep once we're parked in our garage (just like Will used to do), but I'm pretty sure I can also keep Will awake so he doesn't have a real-nap-ruining catnap.

Today we didn't go anywhere in the morning, and Finn's nap in the crib was painfully short--half an hour. I figured I'd get him up and really exhaust him for the afternoon nap. Nice try. Half an hour--and ending as I type this. Meanwhile, Will's been going down from 1-3:15 every day, but guess who woke up at 2:30 today? Unh-hunh.

The days of no plans PLUS no solid naps make me feel like a prisoner in my own life. I try to arrange the day around these boys, and then they refuse to be on a regular (Will) or any kind of (Finn) schedule. So I make the executive decision never to be so foolish again, to simply take them out in the car every day, all the time, whatever it takes--but I'm often thwarted there, too.

There is no sure thing, I know, and that's the biggest similarity of all. Both of these kids will be changing things up on me for the rest of their lives, and every day will be different. Some days, though, that's a tough pill to pop.

Will on his Second Birthday

2010-10-12T23:32:00.000-04:00

You're two. The world is yours!

You spend your days with good friends...

...and family...

...and when everyone says you look like a football player,
you're compelled to dress the part.

Your daddy and little brother have a special spot in your heart;

but only Mommy is "your love-love."

Well, Mommy and cake.

On your birthday,
the sugar crash hit at bathtime.

Still, you wanted more birthday.
"Daddy, you read Will five books!"

A big boy bed for a...sigh...big boy.
A beautiful, wonderful, lovely and joyful little big boy.

Flashback to August

2010-10-10T21:00:00.000-04:00

Grandmom and Grandpop paid a visit last weekend, which meant a few things:

1. Will clung to one of Grandpop's hands at all times.
2. We got to eat some decadent dessert, courtesy of their hotel restaurant.
3. I finally got my hands on an enormous set of pictures from our Jersey Shore vacation.

(I'm wondering if "Jersey Shore" will ever be an innocuous phrase, ever again?)

There are a lot of people who take a lot of pictures in our immediate family on the Noon side, so please believe me when I tell you that I practiced restraint in choosing "only" these photos to post:

The first thing Will said every morning was "Go see cousins!"

I think you can see why.

He has so much fun with this gang.

The shirt says it all.

"Jenna pick Will up!" was also a common refrain.

Finn snoozed on Auntie Cindy at the beach...

...while the rest of us played.

Finn loved the beach, but he was frustrated with us for not letting him eat the sand.

The family shot.

The four of us.

Celebrating Will's birthday early--do you think he liked that plan?

Dolphins!

A sunrise documented by Grandpop...

while I slept soundly inside.

(I had to take advantage of Finn's wonderful nights of sleep, didn't I?)

The Boston Noons head back home.

I don't have a lot of pictures of Finn sans pacifier, but it was shortly after that trip that we decided to wean him off it. And then we decided that we really preferred full nights of sleep to a frustrated, vocal baby who missed his pacifier, so now he gets it once in a while--about as often as we get to sleep through the night.

These pictures make me miss the beach, the summer (even the humidity), and mostly our faraway family. Hopefully Christmas will be here before we know it.

Newsflash: Will Turned Two & The Twins Are Here!

2010-10-03T15:47:00.000-04:00

Will's second birthday was awesome. I stole an idea from my good friend Susan, whose daughter is five days older than Will, and documented the whole day with photos. I may have gone a little guerrilla (Thirteen pictures of Will in a swing at MyGym! Now fourteen!), but it was worth it. I'll share the pictures in a slideshow someday soon.

But the birthdays I want to talk about now are those of my brand-new "niece" and "nephew" (hey, it counts as long as their older brother calls us Auntie Joanna and Uncle Dave, right??):

ARE YOU KIDDING ME WITH THESE TWO?!?

(The beautiful Riley is on the left; her snuggly brother Brendan is on the right.)

On the night of their birthday, during my first visit, I said to Ceci, "They look like boy/girl versions of each other!"

To her credit, Ceci calmly replied, "Yeah, I...think they're supposed to." Because of them being, you know, twins and all.

They are insanely cute and delicious, and even nine days later they look SO much bigger. Congratulations, Ceci, Paul and Connor! I couldn't fathom that your family might be more adorable than it already was, but you've proved me wrong.