Doting

Whenever someone asks how the boys treat their little sister, I tell them they love her, and it's true.

Finn constantly asks to "snuggle Bridget?"

He also gives her impromptu kisses and wants to hold her constantly.

Here are the boys with their "It's a girl!" balloons

from Grandmom and Grandpop...yes, they've claimed the balloons as "theirs."

Finn also likes Bridget to "lie next to me!"

and "sleep with me!"

I also tell people that Will is less of a baby-lover and more of a teacher. He asks questions about Bridget, wants to know what she's doing and why. As you can see, he also has a knack for figuring out what she needs and helping her get it--we watched silently as the above sequence unfolded. Will opened his mouth so she'd do the same, put the pacifier in correctly, all as if it were second nature. In that last picture, he's making his embarrassed face; he looks like that when we make too much of a fuss over him, which we had just done by saying "What a wonderful big brother you are!" for the thousandth time. Sweet guy.

Finny's protective, too, but with less studied analysis, more unadulterated joy.

When he found Bridget on a blanket in the living room, he gleefully ran to her, crying "Bridget's right there!"

These boys are the best.

Our Girl

 Bridget Frances

(formerly known as the New March Baby)

March 5, 2012

Fitness Plan for After the Third Baby

Eight months along with baby #3

Before I had Finny, I made a list of ten things I wanted to get done before he was born that would make me feel more prepared. I had already had a baby, so I knew that none of these things--in fact, nothing at all in the whole world--would actually ensure that I was prepared for this new HUMAN when he arrived to restructure my universe. But that didn't stop me from wanting to feel prepared, or more accurately, feel proactive.

Now I've had two babies so I'm less bought in to the notion that preparedness is a reasonable goal; and furthermore, to the extent that it is reasonable, we're already there. If the newborn-plus-toddler-plus-preschooler combo hits us like a pile of bricks, we know how to order our groceries online and how to access a lactation consultant and how to frantically call my parents and screech "CODE OVERPOPULATION!" over and over again until they show up at our door.

So my proactive focus for this third go-round consists of only two prongs: maintaining my mental health is one, and regaining my physical fitness is the other. Below I'm outlining my goals for the latter--not necessarily to "hold myself to it," but more so that I can keep track of what worked before...and to give you all a chance to gently remind me of what didn't. (My hindsight may be 20/20, but it's still impossibly rose-colored.)

1. Give myself two weeks. Some moms give themselves an established "wait" period before jumping into tasks like birth announcements and organizing the non-gender-neutral baby wardrobe. Those are the things I will love doing while Dave is home (or at least home more often than not). I will also be establishing a milk supply and trying to sneak in sleep where I can, so I will NOT be doing any official exercise in those weeks.

2. Spend the next six weeks doing something active every day, but count on that "something" involving a baby. For instance: go for a walk with the baby in the carrier, or work out at my parents' while he/she sleeps next to me, or do an exercise DVD in our basement in between feedings (and while the older guys nap).

3. Get gung-ho with exercise at the start of week nine. Eight weeks after my due date is when our summer sitter comes home from school to start helping me out. At that point I'll have a designated time every day when I can at the very least do a more strenuous DVD workout downstairs. Hopefully the baby's feedings will be a bit more spaced out, and it will be MAY. Glorious May! I might be able to do some runs outside if it doesn't straight-up kill me.

4. Join Weight Watchers online at the start of week nine. Truthfully, the WW allowance for nursing moms means it's barely a diet, at least for me. I know that's the point--you're not supposed to diet when you're pregnant or breastfeeding--but it is frustrating that I seem to be one of those who carries an extra layer or two until I've weaned my baby. That being said, for the purposes of being proactive, it does make me feel better to keep track of what I'm eating and how damaging or beneficial it might be to my overall fitness goals. That way, even if I'm unable to lose all the baby weight until I'm done nursing, at least I'll be on the right track already.

5. September will likely be a transition month, and I hope that getting in shape can be a top priority starting then. The boys will go back to school; the baby will be six months old and eating some so-called solids; it may be easier to utilize the Y's baby-sitting room while I hop on a treadmill or take a class as the weather gets chilly.

To some, this plan probably sounds like overkill--to others, it might seem lazy or just unrealistic. But the truth is, even though I started this post by separating my mental and physical health from each other, getting in shape only changes my mindset for the better. A few friends with kids have described one benefit of going back to work as "focusing on something else for a while every day." I'm not going back to teaching anytime soon, so when I need to focus on something other than parenthood, fitness can be that focus. I also feel like my non-pregnant self starts coming back to me when I am able to fit into my...well, my non-pregnant clothes again. Where the body goes, the brain will follow. I hope. Wish me luck!

Today: An Attempt at Silver Linings

Monday morning is theoretically my one "morning off" a week. Will goes to his preschool, Finn goes to his toddler group, and I have roughly 2.5 hours in which to...check the clock and make sure I'm not going to be late for pickup, to be honest. But I also manage to get a few chores around the house done, which makes Monday's nap time a little bit less task-oriented. I've only had a couple of these free periods in the last two months due to various holidays, but today I had one and I...went to the dentist.

I don't mind going to the dentist, but you should know that my teeth are not the greatest. Both my parents have mouths replete with fillings, and I have some of those genes. I also eat more sugary stuff than I should, but Dave can attest that I really do brush my teeth and floss religiously, and I dutifully schedule my six-month cleanings (even when it sucks up my tiny piece of free time).

However, since I became pregnant with Will, my teeth have been in some sort of super-revolt. Pregnant women are known to have more sensitive gums and softer teeth, and I'm certainly not the exception to that rule. With each pregnancy I've gained a couple new pieces of silver. All this to say, at today's appointment, I had three cavities. THREE. 

Silver (no pun intended) lining: My dentist is a two-minute drive from my home; I really like the staff there; if I'm going to have a medical problem, at least it's this one.

When Will started going to preschool in the fall, he happily trotted off to hang out with his friends and teachers, nine days out of ten. When I remarked on it, the director warned me that often the kids who have no transition issues in September pull them out in January instead. I inwardly scoffed. I should have listened to the woman with twenty-five years of experience.

Since Christmas break ended, Will's been crying and saying "I'm nervous" maybe two mornings a week. His teachers send me pictures a few minutes later of him happily playing, and the most irritating part is when I come to pick him up after lunch he crows about how wonderful preschool is. Today when I picked him up, three hours after leaving him tearful at my departure, he literally said to me, "I want to stay at preschool forever. I was just nervous for a second, and then I wasn't anymore!" So I replied, "OK, can you remember that tomorrow morning please?" He agreed, but I'll believe it when I see it.

Silver lining: Per the director's warning, it's normal; at least he's doing it later in the year when I know how much he actually enjoys it, so I'm not second-guessing the preschool itself.

At the end of this long day, I was leaving the Y with Susan, rounding up our various children and winter gear, and I couldn't find Finn's boots. I asked him if he'd been playing with them, we all scoured the family gym, and they were nowhere to be found. Somebody took home (I'm assuming and hoping accidentally) my son's bright blue moon boots. His only pair of winter boots. I'm trying to think positively, that of course the parent who mistakenly put those boots on her kid or didn't notice when the kid put them on will realize and bring them back ASAP. Because if I have to buy a second pair of winter boots so my kid can wear them for maybe another month and then grow out  of them forever--I don't know what I'll do.

Silver lining: Oh, gosh, this is going to be a stretch. Okay, how about: It's been a mild winter, so maybe we can get away without replacement boots? I don't know.

Finally, I'm thirty-two weeks along, and I'm finally resigned to the fact that no part of this pregnancy is going to be enjoyable. Even the baby's movements, which of course I love to see and feel, are actually painful. There are knees and elbows stabbing at my belly button and larger body parts jumping on my bladder. My stomach is so compressed that eating is rarely fun and often uncomfortable in the evening hours. I no longer hit a wall of fatigue at four p.m.; now I wake up exhausted and just plod through the day as best I can.

Silver lining: Labor and the newborn phase are no longer sources of anxiety, but pots of gold at the end of the rainbow. At least in my mind. And don't you dare try to take that away from me!

Third Baby, Third Trimester

Notes from the Seven-Month Mark:

1) My hair gets so greasy, so fast. Well: at the root it gets greasy and the ends remain dry for days on end. This has always been the way with my pregnant scalp, and it's not making any exceptions for baby number three. The tricks I use (sporadically) to ameliorate the situation are:

• shower in the evening, brush my hair, air-dry it a little, sleep on it; then in the morning, straighten it with my flat iron (and some Fekkai Glossing Creme); lasts through the following evening
• shower without washing hair; rub baby powder into roots prior to showering so the humid bathroom doesn't grease up my scalp even more

(Oh yes, I have many exciting things to talk about here in the third trimester. Many.)

2) The body pillow (Snoogle, for those in the know) has been invaluable for months now. I even use it in tandem with a king-sized pillow these days, which is basically like using two body pillows. 

3) I'd heard of sciatic nerve pain in pregnancy before, but never experienced it until this time around. It's neither constant nor unbearable, but when it twinges I definitely notice and strongly dislike it. 

4) It's been hard to eat in the evening for a long time now. Not that I don't crave dinner and dessert, I do--I just have no room left in this incredibly high (and low, and protruding) belly of mine. 

5) Along the same lines, I get pain in the muscle right under my ribcage maybe every other day. It's clearly muscle soreness, but I don't know if it's caused by all the organs pressing up against my diaphragm or by the straining that goes on when I go about my normal mom-of-two duties and/or exercise for any length of time. I hope it's the former, because I need those ab muscles intact once this baby's out!

6) All of a sudden, my mental state has gone from "Wow, I can't believe I'm already 30 weeks pregnant--time is flying!" to "HOW CAN I HAVE TWO MORE MONTHS OF THIS TOTAL BODY EXHAUSTION?!" 

7) It's time to post a boy-or-girl poll to the right ---------------------------------------->

I don't know how to help you make your prediction. This baby's heart rate has been measured between the 140s and the 160s, just like both his/her brothers. I carried RIDICULOUSLY differently with Will and with Finn-you can witness my belly at seven months with each pregnancy in chronological order below--but clearly that wasn't an indicator of male vs. female.

7ish months pregnant with William

7 months pregnant with Finn

7 months pregnant with Baby #3

8) Ooh, one more thing. As athletic as Will and Finn were in utero, their little brother or sister wins that contest hands-down. Whether boy or girl, this baby will definitely be able to hold his/her own. I suppose I'm just not destined for a sit-and-play kid, although it would be a nice change of (literal) pace.

Happy voting!

Is There Room for One More?

By next March, we'll need another horse on the carousel.

And another ticket to the firehouse tour.

And some matching tee-shirts for the TWO big brothers.

March 17th, St. Patrick's Day, 2012, to be exact;

we're having another baby!