Happy Valentine's Day

Last week, Dave's uncle passed away suddenly. I wanted us all to go, but it wasn't going to happen at eight months pregnant, so I stayed with the boys while Dave traveled to New Jersey for the wake and funeral. Will has been talking a lot about Uncle Bill and Heaven, drawing pictures for him at preschool. Finn will randomly say something like "I miss Uncle Bill"--obviously parroting one of us, but still pretty sweet.

On the same day (within minutes) that we got that bad news, we also got the wonderful news that my friend Mindy was in labor. A few hours later she gave birth to a beautiful baby girl.

I guess that's fitting, right? I'd like to think Uncle Bill gave baby Grace a high five as they passed each other in opposite directions.

Losing a member of the family and gaining a member of our (and our kids') inner circle has made this Valentine's Day a little more special, and easier for us to count all of our blessings with infinite gratitude. Case(s) in point:

Will wore this shirt today to school and informed me that his nickname was "Heartbreaker--because that's another language for 'I love you.'"

Keeping Me...Well, Not Sane Exactly

I started this post at the end of October 2011. Weeks nine through twentyish of this pregnancy had been trying, but the holidays were coming, so! The things that were keeping me sane were things like Good Housekeeping's sugar cookies (they call them Valentine's cookies, so maybe the idea's still season-appropriate, even months later; we'll go with that). Will and I made them together, and I vaguely remember that we did have some fun.

Ceci also taught me how to make washable, toddler-sized pillows for the boys, and that made me feel capable and like I could indulge my nesting habits without giving fistfuls of money to my arch-nemesis, Pottery Barn Kids.

And I made some really easy pumpkin muffins.

That's the end of my notes from October 2011.

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Now that it's February, the list has definitely changed. Here's what's keeping my head juuuuuuuust above water lately:

In the Human category:

• My mom, who babysat and mother's-helped while both Will and I were down 'n' out with a stomach bug last month, and who ignores her back pain to WRESTLE with my toddlers whenever we visit (My dad is also wonderful with the kids, but he misses out on top billing since he's not around as much.)
• My midwives, who make home visits and ALWAYS leave me calmer than when they arrived
• My husband, who can take both boys out into a snowy (or, more frequently this winter, sunny) backyard for hours without complaint and give me time to actually get something done on the weekend
• My girlfriends, but you know what? Some of them just got a whole post to themselves, so we'll leave it at that. 

In the Things are Organized? Kind of? category:

• A new diaper bag. I know, long-time friends will groan at this bullet point, and here's why: I am currently in possession of four diaper bags that were created to function as such, and instead I've been using a tote-formerly-used-for-work for the actual, you know, diapers. But I DO use the diaper bags! This one is a messenger bag from Lands End, and it was cheap, and I can wear it across my ginormous body, and it's one of those Mary Poppins-ish bags that magically holds three times its actual capacity. It may not be sufficient with a newborn in tow, but it's ideal for two toddlers when one's fully potty trained.
• My kids are sharing a room. They've been sharing a room (at night) for twelve days now, and they were both smitten with the arrangement after the first night. It's clear that they both get comfort from having the other nearby. There have been some growing pains--Finn has woken up early (7) a few mornings, which in turn wakes Will up before he's ready. But the fact that we have a whole room, outfitted with a crib and a changing table and a built-in closet, to spare* is great for our mental health. We don't even plan on putting the baby in there right away, but it's nice to open up the options a bit.

In the Distractions category:

• It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia: I was completely bored by this show the first (eight) time(s) I caught a clip as I was switching channels. One evening recently, I watched an entire episode and nearly cried laughing. Then I watched a few more and DID in fact cry laughing. For me, it was an acquired taste that's quickly become the only thing I want to watch most nights. I DVR all the late-night repeats and then if I can muster the strength to stave off bedtime past nine (seriously), I'll lumber downstairs to watch them. Dave followed me down the rabbit hole, so at least we laugh until we cry together! (I should note that this show is incredibly inappropriate, so I'm not actually recommending it, nor will I be offended if you don't get/like/tolerate it. Unless you're Jenny Sheehan, in which case I'll assume you've been supplanted by a pod person.)
• My iPhone: I remember my lovely friend Inger reminiscing about her middle-of-the-night sessions with her first daughter, and what she would do on her iPhone, and I'd be all, "Whatever! We just popped in a DVD of The Wire when Will was eating at one a.m. What's wrong with a good old-fashioned DVD, Inger?!?" Now I have an iPhone with HBOGO and have in fact watched an entire miniseries (John Adams) on that tiny screen (also developed moderate crush on Thomas Jefferson while watching, strange I know), and I may actually be sad if this baby's eating is too efficient to justify TV in the middle of the night. No, I won't be sad, but I do love my iPhone.

A Very Belated, Very Jersey Christmas (2011)

On Christmas Day, we headed to New Jersey so we could celebrate with the other half of our family. Aunt Jen and Uncle Kai didn't even stay in the same house with us this year, but they still dominate our photos! 

(That's okay--they're pretty photogenic and the boys had a great time with them--and their grandparents and all the aunts, uncles and cousins of course.)

On our way home, we met up with my good friend from college, Amy, and her husband (also a Dave) plus their completely adorable then-nine-month-old, Ben.

That's the two of us with our three boys 

(and whoever is waiting in the wings in my belly).

And...that was our last trip to New Jersey (or anywhere, really) before we have a third little one to tote around. We're really hoping he/she is a car sleeper like Will and not a car screamer (for the first seven months!!) like Finn; that way we can attempt longer trips before NEXT Christmas. Fingers crossed!

Today: An Attempt at Silver Linings

Monday morning is theoretically my one "morning off" a week. Will goes to his preschool, Finn goes to his toddler group, and I have roughly 2.5 hours in which to...check the clock and make sure I'm not going to be late for pickup, to be honest. But I also manage to get a few chores around the house done, which makes Monday's nap time a little bit less task-oriented. I've only had a couple of these free periods in the last two months due to various holidays, but today I had one and I...went to the dentist.

I don't mind going to the dentist, but you should know that my teeth are not the greatest. Both my parents have mouths replete with fillings, and I have some of those genes. I also eat more sugary stuff than I should, but Dave can attest that I really do brush my teeth and floss religiously, and I dutifully schedule my six-month cleanings (even when it sucks up my tiny piece of free time).

However, since I became pregnant with Will, my teeth have been in some sort of super-revolt. Pregnant women are known to have more sensitive gums and softer teeth, and I'm certainly not the exception to that rule. With each pregnancy I've gained a couple new pieces of silver. All this to say, at today's appointment, I had three cavities. THREE. 

Silver (no pun intended) lining: My dentist is a two-minute drive from my home; I really like the staff there; if I'm going to have a medical problem, at least it's this one.

When Will started going to preschool in the fall, he happily trotted off to hang out with his friends and teachers, nine days out of ten. When I remarked on it, the director warned me that often the kids who have no transition issues in September pull them out in January instead. I inwardly scoffed. I should have listened to the woman with twenty-five years of experience.

Since Christmas break ended, Will's been crying and saying "I'm nervous" maybe two mornings a week. His teachers send me pictures a few minutes later of him happily playing, and the most irritating part is when I come to pick him up after lunch he crows about how wonderful preschool is. Today when I picked him up, three hours after leaving him tearful at my departure, he literally said to me, "I want to stay at preschool forever. I was just nervous for a second, and then I wasn't anymore!" So I replied, "OK, can you remember that tomorrow morning please?" He agreed, but I'll believe it when I see it.

Silver lining: Per the director's warning, it's normal; at least he's doing it later in the year when I know how much he actually enjoys it, so I'm not second-guessing the preschool itself.

At the end of this long day, I was leaving the Y with Susan, rounding up our various children and winter gear, and I couldn't find Finn's boots. I asked him if he'd been playing with them, we all scoured the family gym, and they were nowhere to be found. Somebody took home (I'm assuming and hoping accidentally) my son's bright blue moon boots. His only pair of winter boots. I'm trying to think positively, that of course the parent who mistakenly put those boots on her kid or didn't notice when the kid put them on will realize and bring them back ASAP. Because if I have to buy a second pair of winter boots so my kid can wear them for maybe another month and then grow out  of them forever--I don't know what I'll do.

Silver lining: Oh, gosh, this is going to be a stretch. Okay, how about: It's been a mild winter, so maybe we can get away without replacement boots? I don't know.

Finally, I'm thirty-two weeks along, and I'm finally resigned to the fact that no part of this pregnancy is going to be enjoyable. Even the baby's movements, which of course I love to see and feel, are actually painful. There are knees and elbows stabbing at my belly button and larger body parts jumping on my bladder. My stomach is so compressed that eating is rarely fun and often uncomfortable in the evening hours. I no longer hit a wall of fatigue at four p.m.; now I wake up exhausted and just plod through the day as best I can.

Silver lining: Labor and the newborn phase are no longer sources of anxiety, but pots of gold at the end of the rainbow. At least in my mind. And don't you dare try to take that away from me!

Celebrating Finny's Second Birthday

People sometimes lament winter birthdays, or try to commiserate with me that Finn was born "so close to Christmas." I do understand the December birthday problem (hi, Susan!), but I love that Finn is a mid-January baby, and here's why:

• Celebrating his birthday alleviates the post-Christmas blahs
• His date doesn't land amongst a bevy of other birthdays (as Will's does), so we're not squeezing it into a party-packed schedule
• The party gives us and our guests something to do and something to look forward to when the weather is inhospitable
• Smack-dab-in-the-middle-of-winter timing takes away the decision about an outdoor vs. indoor party; whatever we do (last year it was at My Gym, this year we had a musician at our home) has to be inside, and that makes the planning a bit easier

That brings me to today, when we had our kid extravaganza with musician Stacey Peasley providing the entertainment. Finn and Will were a bit overwhelmed at the start, but once the pizza arrived they'd gotten their bearings, and by cake time, predictably, they were ready to party.

Thanks to our friends for celebrating with us and helping the whole morning run smoothly. We had so much fun, and Finny's a lucky man for having all these wonderful people in his life.