Friday, April 23, 2010

Right Here Waiting

I have the cutest pictures (and video) of Finn, but I can't post them because the cable for our camera is stashed somewhere "out of the way" while we try to keep the house clean for showings. In the meantime, let me assure you that he is about as wonderful as they get, and if he would only cut out the sudden scream eruptions in the car I would never, ever be allowed to complain about him.

It must be something about going in atypical order from bottlefeeding to breastfeeding, but I surprisingly don't mind waking up in the middle of the night with Finn. We co-sleep, which gave me wicked anxiety dreams when we did it with Will and none at all so far with Finn, and the middle-of-the-night routine at fourteen weeks is so shockingly simple this time. We went from this:

-wake up
-panic briefly re: baby's whereabouts
-realize he is in my arms
-wake Dave up
-Dave warms the bottle and starts the feeding, while I...
-get out the pump parts and fill a new bottle for next time
-(not to mention all the daytime cleaning of bottle parts and measuring out supplementary formula and keeping track of how long the bottle had been in use, AAAAAAHHHH!)

to this:

-sort of wake up, but not really
-sling baby across body
-Dave continues to snore
-feed baby for 10 or 20 minutes, both of us dozing
-slide back down in bed, to sleep

Will and Dave went to New Jersey without us this weekend, leaving us behind because of the afore(much)mentioned car screaming, and I thought I'd be disappointed but also appreciative of some alone time with Finn. Instead, seven hours into the alone time, and all of Finn's giggles and smirks and dimples, even his joyful yodeling when I sing "Mighty Duke of York," have done little to remedy the melancholy I'm feeling because Will isn't by my side.

I miss his latest move, the one where I try to get him to do something silly and he chuckles and says, "Ma-mawwwwww," almost ruefully, like he's in on the joke. I miss his most recently adopted phrases, from "Big! Hug!" to "Blue car!" and "Mama drive," with the accompanying steering-wheel-maneuver hand gestures. And when I walked into the playroom shortly after they had gone, I almost burst into tears because it was so quiet, and his dump truck was going to sit unused for two whole days, and what is the point of this playroom if he's not here to use it?

(I know. He is gone for two days. As my dear friend Ceci reminded me, I can actually "sleep when the baby sleeps" this weekend, and even--gasp--go to the bathroom all by myself! It's just so tough to enjoy being home when my supersized chatterbox toddler isn't here to force me outside or tell me about the "BUS!" with "WHEELS!" and...I need to stop writing about this or I'll be near tears again.)

On a less sentimental note, did you guys know that 1-800-Contacts is actually awesome? I just never thought about using them before, and the other day when I realized I was down to my last pair but didn't have to go back to the eye doctor for another six months, I went online and ordered some and they came not two days later! And a year's supply was WAY cheaper than what I usually pay--and I got free shipping. Of course, when I had to call and ask them a question, I stood there for literally two minutes scanning the order form for their phone number.


I was frustrated that I could not find the phone number for 1-800-CONTACTS. Let that one sink in.

So, in summary, I miss my firstborn and my mommy brain still reigns supreme over here. Have a great weekend!

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